Quotes by American Comedian George Carlin


Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin

Think of a person of average intelligence, and then realise half of the fucking country is more stupid than that idiot. George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. George Carlin

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.- George Carlin

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin

Think off-center. George Carlin

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. George Carlin
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it. George Carlin

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin

Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large. George Carlin


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