You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle!

— Bert Kalmar

The most staggering Bert Kalmar quotes that will transform you to a better person

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it!


I'll see you at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat til you get there. After that you're on your own.