Where are all the sour patch parents?
People do complain about the way I act on stage... They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.
Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I've got a cousin who is 18... Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.
What's important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn't need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers - the world needs more you. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
Last Update: 18 October 2021
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