1. 10

    What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

  2. 9

    One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

  3. 8

    There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

  4. 7

    Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

  5. 6

    You’ll be fine. You’re 25. Feeling [unsure] and lost is part of your path. Don’t avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. take a breath. You’ll be okay. Even if you don’t feel okay all the time.

  6. 5

    My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

  7. 4

    Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’

  8. 3

    I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.

  9. 2

    When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

  10. 1

    The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

  11. Last Update: 29 July 2021

View the rest 195 Louis C. K. sayings