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10
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
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9
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
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8
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
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7
You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
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6
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
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5
Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.
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4
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!
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3
Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
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2
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
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1
Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Last Update: 28 January 2023
View the rest 117 Matt Groening sayings
