Yes, I would (be a big hit on Dancing with the Stars), but I don't think I can be wearing those tight outfits they have on there. I'm a very good dancer. I'm the John Travolta of Venezuela. If I was one of the 'Jersey Shore' guys and I had their stomach, then hell yeah I would do it.

— Ozzie Guillen

The most blissful Ozzie Guillen quotes that are new and everybody is talking about

He (Buck Showaleter) never even smelled a jock in the big leagues.

Mr. Baseball never even got a hit in Triple-A. I was a better player than him, I have more money than him and I'm better looking than him.

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The only difference between me and the fans is I can't eat or drink during the game and you guys can't make moves. Besides that, we are pretty much the same people.

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I love Fidel Castro...I respect Fidel Castro. You know why? A lot of people have wanted to kill Fidel Castro for the last 60 years, but that motherfucker is still here.

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In life there are worse things (then being fired by the Miami Marlins) and I have experienced them. I have lived through bad moments and I will get through this with support.

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Guillen wasn't finished about his intent to stick with Contreras with left-hander Neal Cotts warming up. He was dominating the Twins, ... People think I'm a bad manager or don't know the game or fall asleep during the game and wake up and change pitchers. I'm watching the same game they are.

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I look back now and realize you have to learn the system.

Not kiss ass, but you have to learn the system.

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