1. 10

    Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

  2. 9

    I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

  3. 8

    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

  4. 7

    Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

  5. 6

    A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

  6. 5

    I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

  7. 4

    Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

  8. 3

    Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

  9. 2

    If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

  10. 1

    We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

  11. Last Update: 20 June 2021

View the rest 192 Phyllis Diller sayings