1. 10

    Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

    64
  2. 9

    I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

    67
  3. 8

    Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

    80
  4. 7

    Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

    82
  5. 6

    A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

    83
  6. 5

    I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

    84
  7. 4

    Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

    96
  8. 3

    Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

    97
  9. 2

    If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

    108
  10. 1

    We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

    1176
  11. Last Update: 20 June 2021

View the rest 192 Phyllis Diller sayings