1. 10

    Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

    29
  2. 9

    There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

    31
  3. 8

    A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

    32
  4. 7

    Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

    34
  5. 6

    In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

    37
  6. 5

    You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

    40
  7. 4

    I can't quite define my aversion to asking questions of strangers. From snatches of family battles which I have heard drifting up from railway stations and street corners, I gather that there are a great many men who share my dislike for it, as well as an equal number of women who ... believe it to be the solution to most of this world's problems.

    49
  8. 3

    The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

    50
  9. 2

    Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

    53
  10. 1

    We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

    72
  11. Last Update: 25 July 2021

View the rest 144 Robert Benchley sayings