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10
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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9
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
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8
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
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7
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
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6
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
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5
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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4
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.
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3
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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2
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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1
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Last Update: 8 February 2023
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