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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
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I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.
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Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
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My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
The complete list of 365 Rodney Dangerfield sayings