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10
Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.
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9
How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
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8
If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.
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7
Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.
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6
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
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5
I look for women I know are gonna bust me up good. Come on, man, who can resist that? Who can resist that emotional pain? Yeah, they all have the same line, they're so sweet: I'm not gonna hurt you like all the others. Really I'm not. I'm gonna introduce you to a whole new level of pain!
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4
I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
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3
There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
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2
I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
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1
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Last Update: 8 February 2023
View the rest 41 Sam Kinison sayings