1. I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Woody Allen
    42
  2. I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

    Woody Allen
    2
  3. To you, I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

    Woody Allen
    0
  4. I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.

    Woody Allen
    0
  5. I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

    Woody Allen
    0
  6. My brain? That's my second favorite organ.

    Woody Allen
    0
  7. Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.

    Woody Allen
    0
  8. Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

    Woody Allen
    0
  9. If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.

    Woody Allen
    0
  10. How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

    Woody Allen
    0

View the rest 122 Woody Allen sayings