1. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

    391
  2. I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

    72
  3. It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.

    59
  4. Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

    54
  5. I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    49
  6. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

    37
  7. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

    32
  8. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

    31
  9. Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

    21
  10. Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.

    19

The complete list of 822 Woody Allen sayings