1. I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

  2. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

  3. My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.

  4. Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

  5. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

  6. Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.

  7. I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

  8. Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

  9. Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

  10. I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.


The complete list of 122 Woody Allen sayings