There are worse things in life than death.

Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.

Issuing an insurance policy against abduction by aliens seems a pretty safe bet.

Religion is insurance in this world against fire in the next.

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Think of an economy where people could be an artist or a photographer or a writer without worrying about keeping their day job in order to have health insurance.

Remember kids, I have life insurance.

You don't need to pray to God any more when there are storms in the sky, but you do have to be insured.

Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

People who live in glass houses should take out insurance.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull.

The insurance industry communicates through codes and check-off boxes.

If there's no check-off box for you, you don't exist.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

For many Americans, including many who are employed, going to the doctor when they fall ill or become injured may not be an option because of the absence of health insurance.

The chief beneficiary of life insurance policies for young, single people is the life insurance agent.

It is an honorable calling that you have chosen.

Some of you will soon be defending poor, helpless insurance companies who are constantly being sued by greedy, vicious widows and orphans trying to collect on their policies. Others will work tirelessly to protect frightened, beleaguered oil companies from being attacked by depraved consumer groups.

In taking out an insurance policy one pays for it in dollars and cents, always at liberty to discontinue payments. If, however, woman's premium is a husband, she pays for it with her name, her privacy, her self-respect, her very life, until death does part.

Simply by not owning three medium-sized castles in Tuscany I have saved enough money in the last forty years on insurance premiums alone to buy a medium-sized castle in Tuscany.

There are very few things you can really do [to promote] healthy aging .

.. and none of these things include an insurance system or a legal system. All those things do is change who pays.

We don't really have mental health insurance in this country [the United States], and it's really a crime.

We've created a device that has absolutely no limitations.

There's no insurance company that can say 'no.' There's no hospital that can say 'no.' Anybody who's paralyzed now has access to draw or communicate using only their eyes.

We need to remove the perverse incentives to use more fuel.

We have an insurance system where the person who drives 20,000 miles a year pays the same insurance as somebody who drives 3,000. We actually encourage people to drive more.

That's the really neat thing about Dan Quayle, as you must have realized from the first moment you looked into those lovely blue eyes: impeachment insurance.

Social Security is a social insurance program - it is not designed to be the same thing as a 401(k).

We also have to make sure our children know the history of women.

Tell them the rotten truth: It wasn't always possible for women to become doctors or managers or insurance people. Let them be armed with a true picture of the way we want it to be.

We need to increase access to health insurance through Health Savings Accounts and high deductible policies, so individuals and families can purchase the insurance that's best for them and meets their specific needs.

The major economic policy challenges facing the nation today - pick your favorites among the usual suspects of low public and household savings, concerns about educational quality and achievement, high and rising income inequality, the large imbalances between our social insurance commitments and resources - are not about monetary policy.

I do have a stunt double because there are certain things that they won't let me do. Like they won't set fire to me. They won't like let me jump off a 20 story building. There are certain big stunts that it's just impossible to get insurance to let me do, but for the most part I'd say I do probably 75% of my stuff.

Here's the truth. The proposed top rate of income tax is not 50 per cent. It is 50 per cent plus 1.5 per cent national insurance paid by employees plus 13.3 per cent paid by employers. That's not 50 per cent. Two years from now, Britain will have the highest tax rate on earned income of any developed country.

For those that are working part time, in small businesses, or who are unemployed and do not currently have health insurance, we want to make sure that you are covered.

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost.

Please be assured that as we move along through the implementation of health insurance reform, making sure that we find efficiencies within the existing system, is foremost on the President's mind.

I know from my constituency what is going on.

Doctors that are told, begged, by mothers, 'Please don't write down that my child as asthma. Please lie and say it's bronchitis, because if you write down asthma, when my child turns 18 or 20 and has to get his or her own insurance, it will be a pre-existing condition.'

Today we have a health insurance industry where the first and foremost goal is to maximize profits for shareholders and CEOs, not to cover patients who have fallen ill or to compensate doctors and hospitals for their services. It is an industry that is increasingly concentrated and where Americans are paying more to receive less.

I basically believe the medical insurance industry should be nonprofit, not profit-making. There is no way a health reform plan will work when it is implemented by an industry that seeks to return money to shareholders instead of using that money to provide health care.

The fact of the matter is right now politicians and insurance companies are making decisions. We're saying we want doctors to be making decisions. And I think that will lead to a higher-quality, lower-cost system over time.

We have a plan that creates universal access programs at the state level which allows folks to access insurance if they're denied by their insurer.

We know that 10 million more people will lose insurance in the next 10 years if we don't act.

This marketplace where people can buy insurance who don't have it today - a competitive marketplace: That's an idea that both sides embrace.

The place where we don't agree is on whether there should be some restraint on insurance companies and whether they should be allowed to run wild. We believe there should be some restraint; some on the other side don't think so.

But you say, does it represent change? The change is that we are fighting an insurance industry that has killed health reform for generations. They're spending tens of millions of dollars right now to defeat this bill, and we're on the doorstep of winning a great victory for the American people.

Furthermore, we believe that health care reform, again I said at the beginning of my remarks, that we sent the three pillars that the President's economic stabilization and job creation initiatives were education and innovation - innovation begins in the classroom - clean energy and climate, addressing the climate issues in an innovative way to keep us number one and competitive in the world with the new technology, and the third, first among equals I may say, is health care, health insurance reform.

When I came to Congress, like our first panel, small business people, 64 percent of the people had health insurance. We'd buy it. Now, we're down to about 34 percent. That's why we have to do something on health care in this country because the cost is killing us.

Well, I'm telling them two things. One is that, look, this is going to be something when the American people realize - once it's passed - that, A, it does take care of preexisting conditions; B, you're insurance rates aren't going to skyrocket; C, the insurance companies aren't going to be running the show like they were before; D, you're going to be in a position where you can keep your insurance that you have. That once the American public realizes that, you're going to get a reward for this. They're going to be rewarded.

You know we're going to control the insurance companies.

Because what happens is, as the economy suffers, tax revenues go down.

But unlike businesses, where at least your variable costs go down, in government your variable costs go up: unemployment insurance, workmen's compensation, health care benefits, welfare, you name it.

The middle class is teetering on the brink of collapse just as surely as AIG was in the fall of 2009 - only this time, it's not just one giant insurance company (and its banking counterparties) facing disaster, it's tens of millions of hardworking Americans who played by the rules.

It was the labor movement that helped secure so much of what we take for granted today. The 40-hour work week, the minimum wage, family leave, health insurance, Social Security, Medicare, retirement plans. The cornerstones of the middle-class security all bear the union label.