Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value.

I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: “Hello, baby, how you doing? When you coming for me? I’ll be ready."

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up.

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Irony is the hygiene of the mind.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.

Life's cruelest irony.

Irony image quote by

Imagine if trees gave off wifi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe.

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Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment.

Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

Irony image quote by George Bernard Shaw

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always count on the support of Paul.

What cannot be said above all must not be silenced but written.

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time.

A tragic irony of life is that we so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away.

The irony is that the more unapologetically sexist men are in movies, the more women tend to be attracted to them in person.

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

Irony is the gaiety of reflection and the joy of wisdom.

Irony image quote by Nelson Mandela

In my country we go to prison first and then become President.~ Nelson Mandela

Irony is jesting behind hidden gravity.

I love the irony. I'm perceived as being really young and yet I have the clinical condition of an old man.

The great thing about irony is that it splits things apart, gets up above them so we can see the flaws and hypocrisies and duplicates.

The keynote of American civilization is a sort of warm-hearted vulgarity.

The Americans have none of the irony of the English, none of their cool poise, none of their manner. But they do have friendliness. Where an Englishman would give you his card, an American would very likely give you his shirt.

It may be that we shall, by a process of sublime irony, have reached a stage in this story where safety will be the sturdy child of terror, and survival the twin brother of annihilation.

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom, and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more, it will lose that too.

Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin.

Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon.

Candide can do little more than generate irony.

So the struck eagle, stretch'd upon the plain, No more through rolling clouds to soar again, View'd his own feather on the fatal dart, And wing'd the shaft that quiver'd in his heart.

Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization.

Irony is a disciplinarian feared only by those who do not know it, but cherished by those who do. He who does not understand irony and has no ear for its whispering lacks of what might called the absolute beginning of the personal life. He lacks what at moments is indispensable for the personal life, lacks both the regeneration and rejuvenation, the cleaning baptism of irony that redeems the soul from having its life in finitude though living boldly and energetically in finitude.

Sentimental irony is a dog that bays at the moon while pissing on graves.

An old man turned ninety-eightHe won the lottery and died the next dayIt's a black fly in your ChardonnayIt's a death row pardon two minutes too lateIt's a traffic jam when you're already lateIt's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette breakIt's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knifeIt's meeting the man of my dreamsAnd then meeting his beautiful wife.

Jews and homosexuals are the outstanding creative minorities in contemporary urban culture. Creative, that is, in the truest sense: they are creators of sensibilities. The two pioneering forces of modern sensibility are Jewish moral seriousness and homosexual aestheticism and irony.

The postmodern reply to the modern consists of recognizing that the past, since it cannot really be destroyed, because its destruction leads to silence, must be revisited: but with irony, not innocently. I think of the postmodern attitude as that of a man who loves a very cultivated woman and knows he cannot say to her, I love you madly, because he knows that she knows (and that she knows that he knows) that these words have already been written by Barbara Cartland. Still, there is a solution. He can say, As Barbara Cartland would put it, I love you madly.

In the works of the better poets you get the sensation that they're not talking to people any more, or to some seraphical creature. What they're doing is simply talking back to the language itself --as beauty, sensuality, wisdom, irony --those aspects of language of which the poet is a clear mirror. Poetry is not an art or a branch of art, it's something more. If what distinguishes us from other species is speech, then poetry, which is the supreme linguistic operation, is our anthropological, indeed genetic, goal. Anyone who regards poetry as an entertainment, as a read, commits an anthropological crime, in the first place, against himself.

The Poor Man whom everyone speaks of, the Poor Man whom everyone pities, one of the repulsive Poor from whom charitable souls keep their distance, he has still said nothing. Or, rather, he has spoken through the voice of Victor Hugo, Zola, Richepin. At least, they said so. And these shameful impostures fed their authors. Cruel irony, the Poor Man tormented with hunger feeds those who plead his case.

The irony is this: If you don't go in, you can't find out.

It is in the irony of things that the theatre should be the most dangerous place for the actor. But, then, after all, the world is the worst possible place, the most corrupting place, for the human soul. And just as there is no escape from the world, which follows us into the very heart of the desert, so the actor cannot escape the theatre. And the actor who is a dreamer need not. All of us can only strive to remain uncontaminated. In the world we must be unworldly, in the theatre the actor must be untheatrical.

What a cunning mixture of sentiment, pity, tenderness, irony surrounds adolescence, what knowing watchfulness! Young birds on their first flight are hardly so hovered around.

The irony is palpable - technical access has never been greater, cultural access never weaker.

I always thought the biggest failing of Americans was their lack of irony.

They are very serious there! Naturally, there are exceptions... the Jewish, Italian, and Irish humor of the East Coast.

To me the biggest irony of this lifetime that I'm living is that for someone who thrives in the public eye in the creative ways that I do, I actually don't enjoy being in the public eye.

That's the irony in the work: the best stories are the worst things that happen.

My best times were somebody else's worst.

We are all tourists in history, and irony is what we win in wars.

Without a trace of irony I can say I have been blessed with brilliant enemies.

I owe them a great debt, because they redoubled my energies and drove me in new directions.

The Academy Awards ceremony is designed to be without irony, but Chris Rock supplied it anyway with filmed movie-theater interviews with black men and women who had never heard of the movies nominated for Best Picture.

I think that you can fall into bad habits with comedy.

.. It's a tightrope to stay true to the character, true to the irony, and allow the irony to happen.

O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, That has such people in't!

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.

on the other hand, who would be a more dedicated gay-basher than a gay school board member? look at congress.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.