A psychotic is a guy who's just found out what's going on.

It might be said of psychoanalysis that if you give it your little finger it will soon have your whole hand.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing

To study the abnormal is the best way of understanding the normal.

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The more one analyses people, the more all reasons for analysis disappear.

Sooner or later one comes to that dreadful universal thing called human nature.

Work and love; these are the basics. Without them there is neurosis.

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents shortcomings.

Psychiatric expert testimony: mendacity masquerading as medicine.

Analysis does not set out to make pathological reactions impossible, but to give the patient's ego freedom to decide one way or another.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.

If the nineteenth century was the age of the editorial chair, ours is the century of the psychiatrist's couch.

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married -- the other half because they're not.

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Whoever undertakes to create soon finds himself engaged in creating himself.

Self-transformation and the transformation of others have constituted the radical interest of our century, whether in painting, psychiatry, or political action.

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom.

The difference between a neurotic, a psychotic, and a psychiatrist.

The neurotic builds castles in the sky, the psychotic lives in them and the psychiatrist collects the rent.

You go to psychiatrist when your slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely broke.

It is almost impossible to be a doctor and an honest man, but it is obscenely impossible to be a psychiatrist without at the same time bearing the stamp of the most incontestable madness: that of being unable to resist that old atavistic reflex of the mass of humanity, which makes any man of science who is absorbed by this mass a kind of natural and inborn enemy of all genius.

I myself spent nine years in an insane asylum and I never had the obsession of suicide, but I know that each conversation with a psychiatrist, every morning at the time of his visit, made me want to hang myself, realizing that I would not be able to cut his throat.

Psychoanalysis pretends to investigate the Unconscious.

The Unconscious by definition is what you are not conscious of. But the Analysts already know what's in it -- they should, because they put it all in beforehand.

The human mind is indeed a cave swarming with strange forms of life, most of them unconscious and unilluminated. Unless we can understand something as to how the motives that issue from this obscurity are generated, we can hardly hope to foresee or control them.

Psychoanalysis can unravel some of the forms of madness;

it remains a stranger to the sovereign enterprise of unreason. It can neither limit nor transcribe, nor most certainly explain, what is essential in this enterprise.

Psychoanalysts seem to be long on information and short on application.

Every morning I woke in dread, waiting for the day nurse to go on her rounds and announce from the list of names in her hand whether or not I was for shock treatment, the new and fashionable means of quieting people and of making them realize that orders are to be obeyed and floors are to be polished without anyone protesting and faces are to be made to be fixed into smiles and weeping is a crime.

The analytic psychotherapist thus has a threefold battle to wage -- in his own mind against the forces which seek to drag him down from the analytic level; outside the analysis, against opponents who dispute the importance he attaches to the sexual instinctual forces and hinder him from making use of them in his scientific technique; and inside the analysis, against his patients, who at first behave like opponents but later on reveal the overvaluation of sexual life which dominates them, and who try to make him captive to their socially untamed passion.

Psychoanalysis cannot be considered a method of education if by education we mean the topiary art of clipping a tree into a beautiful artificial shape. But those who have a higher conception of education will prize most the method of cultivating a tree so that it fulfils to perfection its own natural conditions of growth.

The difference between psychiatrists and other mentally disturbed people is something like the relationship between concave and convex madness.

Considered in its entirety, psychoanalysis won't do.

It's an end product, moreover, like a dinosaur or a zeppelin; no better theory can ever be erected on its ruins, which will remain for ever one of the saddest and strangest of all landmarks in the history of twentieth-century thought.

If you are well off and can afford to spend ten or twenty-five dollars a day to hire some patient soul to listen to your troubles you can be readjusted to the crazy scheme of things and spare yourself the humiliation of becoming a Christian Scientist. You can have your ego trimmed or removed, as you wish, just like a wart or bunion.

Analysis brings no curative powers in its train;

it merely makes us conscious of the existence of an evil, which, oddly enough, is consciousness.

Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased, pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, raze out the written troubles of the brain, and with some sweet oblivious antidote cleanse the fraught bosom of that perilous stuff which weighs upon the heart?

A psychiatrist is a man who goes to the Folies-Berg?re and looks at the audience.

Involuntary mental hospitalization is like slavery.

Refining the standards for commitment is like prettifying the slave plantations. The problem is not how to improve commitment, but how to abolish it.

Institutional psychiatry is a continuation of the Inquisition.

All that has really changed is the vocabulary and the social style. The vocabulary conforms to the intellectual expectations of our age: it is a pseudo-medical jargon that parodies the concepts of science. The social style conforms to the political expectations of our age: it is a pseudo-liberal social movement that parodies the ideals of freedom and rationality.

Psychoanalysis is an attempt to examine a person's self-justifications.

Hence it can be undertaken only with the patient's cooperation and can succeed only when the patient has something to gain by abandoning or modifying his system of self-justification.

Aided and abetted by corrupt analysts, patients who have nothing better to do with their lives often use the psychoanalytic situation to transform insignificant childhood hurts into private shrines at which they worship unceasingly the enormity of the offenses committed against them. This solution is immensely flattering to the patients -- as are all forms of unmerited self-aggrandizement; it is immensely profitable for the analysts -- as are all forms pandering to people's vanity; and it is often immensely unpleasant for nearly everyone else in the patient's life.

Freud was one of the greatest influences on me.

He made myth into psychiatry, and I've been trying to turn it back into myth again.

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

The American temptation is to believe that foreign policy is a subdivision of psychiatry.

If you do not feel equal to the headaches that psychiatry induces, you are in the wrong business. It is work - work the like of which I do not know.

There is no fun in psychiatry. If you try to get fun out of it, you pay a considerable price for your unjustifiable optimism.

I don't like psychiatry. I don't believe it works. I believe psychiatrists are neurotic or psychotic, for the most part.