quote by Jackie Mason

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

— Jackie Mason

Successful Abed quotations

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

Our political debates today are corrosive and not reflective of the belief that Abe Lincoln espoused back in his day: that we are a great country because we are a good country.

Men talk glibly enough about moonshine, as if they knew its qualities very well, and despised them; as owls might talk of sunshine,--none of your sunshine!--but this word commonly means merely something which they do not understand,--which they are abed and asleep to, however much it may be worth their while to be up and awake to it.

I hope that being in places from the [Shinzo Abe] Prime Minister's past will motivate us to have a sincere, very practical and, I hope, productive conversation.


Contrary to his infallibly "honest" image, Abe wasn't above lying so long as it served a noble purpose.

Honest Abe never lied. That's the good thing. That's the big difference between Abraham Lincoln and you [Hillary Clinton].

The United States has renewed our leadership in the Asia-Pacific, prime Minister Abe is leading Japan to a new role on the world stage.

Ah, well,ʺ said Abe, idly studying his fingertips.

ʺI have it on good authority thereʹs going to be a new ‘gateʹ opening up soon over on the south side of the wall." The truth dawned on me. ʺOh lord. Youʹre the one whoʹs been doling out C4.ʺ ʺYou make it sound so easy,ʺ he said with a frown. ʺThat stuffʹs hard to get a hold of.

Abe shook his head, and now the smile was gone altogether.

"That's not the reason either. Don't lie to me little girl." I felt my hackles going up. "And don't interrogate me, old man.


No matter who you are, you will be put abed at last with a shovel.

Words of encouragement fan the spark of genius into the flame of achievement.

Legend tells us that Lincoln's dying mother called her small son to her bedside and whispered, 'Be somebody, Abe'.

For example, a man who might not have enormous charisma, who could be president 40 years ago, and who was a deserving president, I don't know that George Washington would be a president today, I don't know that Abe Lincoln would, I don't know that Roosevelt would.

I am in regular contact with Prime Minister [Shinzo] Abe.

We have met several times this year [2016].

Now, the black man here was so-called free by [Abe] Lincoln 100 years ago.

The black man in America has an - has a purchasing power of 20 billion dollars. Now, and he's educated.


The abilities of man must fall short on one side or the other, like too scanty a blanket when you are abed. If you pull it upon your shoulders, your feet are left bare; if you thrust it down to your feet, your shoulders are uncovered.

You have made a very good point: both the Prime Minister [Shindzo Abe] and I enjoy a fairly high level of trust among the citizens of our countries.

Not only has my latest book, The Wandering Who?, rocked the boat, but it also has managed to unite Alan Dershowitz and Abe Foxman with Ali Abunimah and Max Blumenthal. That is pretty encouraging: it means that peace may prevail after all.

Don’t take the high ground and assume you already know what you’ll do.

The truth is, when it comes to someone you love, you’ll find there isn’t anything you won’t do.

Was this all part of your plan as my lawyer? I don't recall explosive escapes being part of the legal training." "Well, I'm sure it wasn't part of Damon Taru's legal training.


Ah, my daughter,ʺ he said. ʺEighteen, and already youʹve been accused of murder, aided felons, and acquired a death count higher than most guardians will ever see.ʺ He paused. ʺI couldnʹt be prouder.

The Prime Minister [Shinzō Abe] also highlighted the need to address general humanitarian issues. We already mentioned one of these issues: visa-free travel by Japanese citizens to the South Kuril Islands.

Because of Diamond, I have had to begin much of the work afresh.

I will not, however, rid myself of her, nor even punish her. She knew not what she was doing, and that which she did was for my protection and for love of my person. Her place remains at my side or against my feet when I lie abed.

Somebody told me when Abe Lincoln was a young man, studying by firelight, he said, "I will work hard. I will prepare myself. And my time will come." And you know, that's exactly what I said about myself and football - What do you think? Were Abe and I both just lucky ducks?

He learned by sight, scent, and hearing.

He heard all that was said, and talked over and over the questions heard; wore them slick, greasy, and threadbare. He went to political and other speeches and gatherings; he would hear all sides and opinions, talk them over and discuss them, agreeing or disagreeing. Abe, as I said before, was originally a Democrat after the order of Jackson, so was his father, so we all were. He preached, made speeches, read for us, explained to us, etc.


We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.

For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be never so vile. This day shall gentle his condition. And gentlemen in England now abed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

My feeling about him is that the America that we have today, the freedoms we enjoy and the privileges we have, are really the reflection of Abe Lincoln's convictions, his vision, and his toughness.

I can be the most presidential person ever, other than possibly the great Abe Lincoln, all right?

If you look at Caterpillar now [in Japan] with what's going on.

[Shinzō] Abe is a great leader. Who is our chief negotiator? Essentially it is Caroline Kennedy. I mean give me a break. She doesn't even know she's alive. It's Caroline Kennedy. So Caterpillar is having a hard time selling because Komatsu is under-cutting them.

I only had a telephone conversation with [Donald Trump], whereas [Shinzō ] Abe met with him in person.


I think Shidzo Abe's proposal may be the only way to achieving our goal.

If we act together along these lines, we will create conditions, the conditions for trust that Shinzō Abe speaks about, so as to take another step and conclude a peace treaty on certain terms. However, first, it is essential to cover this part of the way and then agree on the terms for signing a peace treaty. Both are challenging tasks but they are feasible.

The Prime Minister [Shinzō Abe] proposed advancing to a new level of economic engagement, putting forward eight lines of cooperation in the most important and interesting areas both for Russia and for Japan.

As regards humanitarian issues and how to handle them, that was the Prime Minister's [Shinzō Abe] initiative. He brought the matter up at our last meeting in Lima and asked me straightforwardly whether we would agree to let Japanese citizens travel on a visa-free basis, resolve the issue in such a way as to enable them to visit the South Kurils, visit their native areas. I said at once that it was quite possible.

This is the large range of issues we have to discuss [with Shinzō Abe] and make a decision on each one of them. Look, after the resumption of the negotiating process in 2000, we did not refuse to consistently work toward signing this peace treaty.

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