We need to confront honestly the issue of scale... You may need a large corporation to run an airline or to manufacture cars, but you don't need a large corporation to raise a chicken or a hog. You don't need a large corporation to process local food or local timber and market it locally.— Wendell Berry
Seductive Airline Food quotations
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs.
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all.
Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.
I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke."
Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.
This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.
Airline food is not intended for human consumption.
It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."
The quality of food is in inverse proportion to a dining room's altitude, especially atop bank and hotel buildings (airplanes are an extreme example).
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."
I convinced him his luggage had gone to that big Bermuda Triangle in the sky.
If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.
[Airline food] is the tiniest food I've ever seen in my entire life.
Any kind of meat that you get - chicken, steak, anything - has grill marks on each side, like somehow we'll actually believe there's an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.
The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody.
If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.
The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United States in complex, puke-inducing holding patterns.
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.
In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.
Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour."
Anything that is white is sweet. Anything that is brown is meat. Anything that is grey, don't eat.
They mention that it's a nonstop flight.
Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.
I don't enjoy traveling in America. I don't like the food, the cars. It is not exotic enough. It all tastes a bit like airline food.
You don't have to be Willy Loman about it.
But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"
Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.
The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign.
He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch.
Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?
This year, U.S. airlineswill carry a record 143 million passengers, who will be in the air for 382 million hours, during which they will be fed an estimated total of four peanuts.
There was nothing subtle about our landing.
The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
The more I fly, the more I'm convinced that the true wonder of modern aviation is the transformation of tasteless particles into something known as airplane food.