The two-party system is a bad joke on the American people; when it comes to Republicans and Democrats remember they are two sides of the same coin. Voting for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil and not an answer to our problems. A vote for a Republican or a Democrat will not fix anything and is a wasted vote.— Aaron Russo
Colorful Bad Jokes quotations
I enjoy life when things are happening.
I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
I'm a diplomat by nature. I help find the middle ground. I crack a joke and use humour to help resolve potentially vicious situations quickly. It gets things in perspective and helps everyone to see that things aren't as bad as they seem.
Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.
If I had to give my younger self some advice, I think it would be that you have to laugh at things-things that scare you, things that intimidate you, things that hurt you, When you're humiliated, when you're rejected, you have to be able to take these bad experiences you have and turn them into a great dinner party joke.
The next best thing to a very good joke is a very bad one.
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?
A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago - that's not the joke, that's what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, 'Holy cow, I'm 'The White Man.' I've heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.
Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in The Fugitive. I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.
For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised.
For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.
It is of first-rate importance to notice from the start that stupidity is not the same thing, or the same sort of thing, as ignorance. There is no incompatibility between being well-informed and being silly, and a person who has a good nose for arguments or jokes may have a bad head for facts.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.
That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.
If you're from New Jersey, let people make all those bad jokes about our state.
Don't let anyone know how great it is here. It's the best kept secret.
I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past.
Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.
Yes, we were amazed when that happened.
It was a real joke to us. Konrad Lueg and I did a Happening, and we used the phrase just for the Happening, to have a catchy name for it; and then it immediately got taken up and brought into use. There's no defence against that - and really it's no bad thing.
The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor.
Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes me laugh.
To such men the desperate and horrible thought has come that perhaps the whole of human life is but a bad joke, a violent and ill-fated abortion of the primal mother, a savage and dismal catastophe of nature.
You know that old joke about potheads having bad memories? Well, the bad memories are like pain, discomfort, and fear. So you lose all that, and the body reacts by healing faster and stronger.
Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.
The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.
So this is it. You are scored on my heart, Clark. You were from the first day you walked in, with your ridiculous clothes and your bad jokes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt.
Anna Petrovna (to Shabelsky): You can't make a simple joke without an injection of venom. You are a poisonous man. Joking apart, Count, you're very poisonous. It's hideously boring to live with you. You're always grumpy, complaining, you find everyone bad, good for nothing. Tell me frankly, Count, did you ever speak well of anyone?
Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire.
It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. "What'll you have?" the bartender asks. "We were thinking him," the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor. Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
I'm not a jazz musician, because, I mean, firstly, I can't play anything.
I'm not bad on the tamborine. I have a certain way with the triangle. But I'm not a jazz musician ... my band, they always joke, they always say that I'm a disposable, pop, jazz superstar.
I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she's laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.
I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Life, like the boring drunk at the office party, keeps seeking you out, leaning on you, killing you with pointless yarns and laughing bad-breathed in your face at its own unfunny jokes.
I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.
I used to have a group called Bad-Movie Saturday.
Every Saturday, six of us would go see the worst movie that came out each weekend. It'd be noon in Burbank. It was just a running commentary. All executives - we would each talk through the movie and make jokes.