My music wasn't written by Mozart, Beethoven, Bach or Schubert. It's written by God and me. They go "a one and a two and up." We start on the downbeat. Bam! And that's where we got them.

— James Brown

Delightful Bam quotations

Wham, bam, thank you Ma'am.

She's a total bam bam.

You mix Greek and Roman, you know what you get? You get BAM!

From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?

Greetings, O Great Gazoo. How nice of you to join us here on planet Earth again. (Cael) Thanks, Barney. How’s Betty and Bam Bam doing? (Acheron) Great, if I could only get them away from Wilma and Pebbles. Those women are nothing but trouble. (Cael) Nah, they’re good women. It’s the ones in red who are always the downfall of good men. (Acheron)

I told my dad 'Yeah, I’m going to be a drummer', and he said 'Well, if you can rub your stomach at the same time as you pat your head at the same time you’re standing on one leg and kicking the other one out in a circle and say the pledge of allegiance'. And I did all that just like bam, you know?

Do I play tennis? Man, I had one of the baddest overhead rights of anyone. Bam!

I was washing dishes at the Greyhound bus station at the time and I said, 'Awap bop a lup bop a wop bam boom, take 'em out!'

Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' BAM! Right in the f--in head! Aparently we're not ready for that!

I'm not as impatient as I used to be.

I used to hit people if I didn't like what they were saying. Just lash out. 'Bam - shut up! Hahahah!' I was terrible.

Kids today aren't listening to music audio-only.

They're picking up a CD and looking at the lyric sheet and wondering why the pictures aren't moving around. Who wants to do that? It's like Bam Bam Flintstone hanging with the dinosaurs vs. Elroy Jetson who's flying around space. If I'm a kid, I wanna be kicking it with Elroy.

There is much unexplained in the world.

It behooves us to be wary at all times. Just when you think you've got the hang of it, along comes string theory, collateralized debt obligations or Björk's new album, and bam! You're as confused as you were when you first started.

I don't believe in any kind of artistic snobbery or musical snobbery.

You know, to me, the sexiest and the most spiritual words ever uttered in rock and roll are wop babaloo balop bam boom.

I'm not saying that all American men are this way, but nine out of ten are breast-fixated, wham-bam-thank-you-rna'am cretins who just don't give a damn about anyone's gratification but their own.

It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture

Anything made with love, bam! -it's a beautiful meal.

I'm scattered, and then that last hundred pages, bam, I'm a laser.

I felt so liberated when I first saw Charles Mee’s 'The Glory of the World' at BAM play, because for me this is the gateway to contemplation, or this is the gateway to love, or this is the gateway to faith, not sitting and reading a book by an isolated monk, god bless him. This is.

I do an opening in 'The Glory of the World' play at BAM, and then I go up to the high balcony in the back and watch the bulk of the play, but then I have to leave my seat about seven to 10 minutes before the end of that final big scene...and it's a bummer.

Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life.

Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.

Oh, it's just a trash can. Chill out." (Marco) BAM! BAM! BAM! "Okay, so it's four trash cans," (Marco) " BAM! BAM! BAM! "Do you hate trash cans? Is that your problem? Do you just HATE TRASH CANS?!!" (Jake)

I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today.

I had just sat down at a table with Star [Jones] and, bam, it just popped all over Star's shoes. Star was like, 'What is that!?' I said, 'My water broke!'

In the classic old business cycle, there would be a diminution in sales;

it would take a little while for this information to reach corporate headquarters. And there would be an inventory pileup. And then - bam - businesses would react, sometimes violently, by cutting production.

It's like you run into this dark tunnel, trusting that somewhere there's another end to it where you're going to come out. And there's a point in the middle where it's just dark. There's no light from where you came in and there's no light at the other end; all you can do is keep running. And then you start to see a little light, and a little more light, and then, bam! You're out in the sun.

It's nice to think people might be talking about it after they've seen it.

With some comedies it's a bit 'wham bam thank you ma'am', and then you just go for a pizza.

It sucks that we miss people like that.

You think you've accepted that someone is out of your life, that you've grieved and it's over, and then bam. One little thing, and you feel like you've lost that person all over again.

Sometimes I pick up the phone, listen to cold caller alias name, repeat it several times in an incredulous tone and then - bam! - pretend to recognise them. I ask them if they remember the hell of a time we had at the 1985 summer camp when we set fire to the wooden shed, and I keep making things up and go on and on until they end up terminating the call.

We had had several mine disasters where workers, some of the workers were rescued. It was, you know, who was lucky and who weren't. Some would find the air pockets But, in this one, bam, it was just, everybody was gone and it greatly depressed the state.

CEREMONY OF FLIES hits the road like a nitrous-fueled GTO.

..and then pulls the ultimate stunt of getting better. What starts as a deceptively simple hard-boiled noir story twists on itself and adds layers and grows stranger and before you know it, BAM - it's the end of the world and all you can do is hang on by your fingernails. This really, truly is one of the best novellas I've read in years.