quote by Anthony Jeselnik

Yeah we're not together anymore. She has got - she has got a new boyfriend now. They just moved into together. And I've heard rumors that he is abusive, which makes you want to go over there with a baseball bat. And then blame it on her boyfriend.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Informative great baseball quotes that are about best baseball

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.

Baseballer quote It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in o
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Back, back, back, back. Gone.

Meaningful Baseballer quotes
Visualise all those meaningful baseballer quotes

Some day I'm going to have to stand before God, and if He asks me why I didn't let that [Jackie] Robinson fellow play ball, I don't think saying 'because of the color of his skin' would be a good enough answer.

Never permit the pressure to exceed the pleasure.

I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life.

I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more.

Now, you tell me, if I have a day off during the baseball season, where do you think I'll spend it? The ballpark. I still love it. Always have, always will.

It's not the disability that defines you;

it's how you deal with the challenges the disability presents you with.

Baseball was, is and always will be to me the best game in the world.

If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere

During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times.

I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at-bats a season. That means I played 7 years without ever hitting the ball.

If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal.

To succeed in baseball, as in life, you must make adjustments.

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.

Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?

There are three types of baseball players: Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happens.

It is not heroin or cocaine that makes one an addict, it is the need to escape from a harsh reality. There are more television addicts, more baseball and football addicts, more movie addicts, and certainly more alcohol addicts in this country than there are narcotics addicts.

Politics is not a baseball game with winners or losers.

What politics is about is whether we protect the needs of millions of people in this country who are hurting.

Not only do I like to go to bars because I like to drink, I do like to drink, but I go because who do you see there? Baseball fans.

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.

Close don't count in baseball. Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades.

Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.

I leaned on him for support when I got out of the cab, and he just crumpled to the ground. That's how we found out.

I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

If a guy is taking his girl for granted, he really deserves a slap, with a baseball bat.

Professional baseball - Professional baseball is organized baseball in which players are selected for their talents and are paid to play for a specific team or club system. It

Baseball positions - Baseball is a bat-and-ball game played between two opposing teams who take turns batting and fielding. Within the game there are positions in which each

Coach (baseball) - In baseball, a number of coaches assist in the smooth functioning of a team. They are assistants to the manager, who determines the lineup and decides

Major League Baseball - Major League Baseball (MLB) is an American professional baseball organization and the oldest of the major professional sports leagues in the United States

Umpire (baseball) - In baseball, the umpire is the person charged with officiating the game, including beginning and ending the game, enforcing the rules of the game and the

Manager (baseball) - In baseball, the field manager (commonly referred to as the manager) is the equivalent of a head coach who is responsible for overseeing and making final

Batting (baseball) - In baseball, batting is the act of facing the opposing pitcher and trying to produce offense for one's team. A batter or hitter is a person whose turn

Closer (baseball) - In baseball, a closing pitcher, more frequently referred to as a closer (abbreviated CL), is a relief pitcher who specializes in getting the final outs

Doubleheader (baseball) - A doubleheader (in the classic sense) is a set of two baseball games played between the same two teams on the same day in front of the same crowd. In addition

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments.

It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.

If you don't like the way the Atlanta Braves are playing then you don't like baseball.

If I had to choose between baseball’s Hall of Fame and first class citizenship for all of my people. I would say first-class citizenship.

The best pitchers have a short term memory and a bullet proof confidence.

You can't win them all but you can try.

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball.

I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.

When I put on my uniform, I feel I am the proudest man on earth.

Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment.