quote by Anthony Jeselnik

I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Unbelievable Black Hole quotations

Black hole quote Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black shows sad

Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black shows sadness, but as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also makes music.

58

The black holes of nature are the most perfect macroscopic objects there are in the universe: the only elements in their construction are our concepts of space and time.

Only happy people have nightmares, from overeating.

For those who live a nightmare reality, sleep is a black hole, lost in time, like death.

Black hole quote When you find yourself in a hole, QUIT DIGGING.

When you find yourself in a hole, QUIT DIGGING.

So Einstein was wrong when he said, "God does not play dice.

" Consideration of black holes suggests, not only that God does play dice, but that he sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen.

The Internet is not a place. It’s a great void, a black hole, from which you can call up an incredible amount of disorganized information.

If travel has momentum and wants to stay in motion, as I mentioned earlier, then adventure has the gravitational pull of a black hole. The more you do it, the more you find a way to keep doing it.

Black hole quote Escape from the black cloud that surrounds you. Then you will see your own light

Escape from the black cloud that surrounds you. Then you will see your own light as radiant as the full moon.

When you fall into a black hole you will be literally spaghettified.

I have one good characteristic: I'm a pessimist, so I always imagine the worst - always. To me, the future is a black hole.

Information anxiety is the black hole between data and knowledge, and it happens when information doesn't tell us what we want or need to know.

Black hole quote We're just trying to find some color in this black and white world

We're just trying to find some color in this black and white world

13

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

We will soon create intelligences greater than our own .

.. When this happens, human history will have reached a kind of singularity, an intellectual transition as impenetrable as the knotted space-time at the center of a black hole, and the world will pass far beyond our understanding.

Love is scary because it pulls you in with an intense force, a supermassive black hole which looks like nothing from the outside but from the inside challenges every reasonable thing you know. You lose yourself, like I lost myself, in the warmest of annihilations.

Black hole quote I dont care if you're black, white, short, tall, skinny, rich   or poor. If you

I dont care if you're black, white, short, tall, skinny, rich or poor. If you respect me I'll respect you

12

I could no longer afford to be jealous or unfriendly, because, as soon as I was, a bandage came down over my eyes, and I was bound hand and foot and cast aside. All at once a black hole opened, and I was helpless inside it. But when I was happy and serene, approached people with confidence and thought well of them, I was rewarded with light.

The world turned into a big black hole while my daughter was on the verge of life and death.

Eyes as black and as shiny as chips of obsidian stared back into his.

They were eyes like black holes, letting nothing out, not even information.

Black hole quote Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of th

Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to drain it dry.

11

It is hard to think of practical applications of the black hole.

Because practical applications are so remote, many people assume we should not be interested. But this quest to understand the world is what defines us as human beings.

There seems to be this sense among even well-meaning Americans that Africa is this black hole of murder and mutilation that can never be fixed, no matter what aid is brought in.

I felt the question of the afterlife was the black hole of the personal universe: something for which substantial proof of existence had been offered but which had not yet been explored in the proper way by scientists and philosophers.

Black hole quote Black-and-white always looks modern, whatever that word means.

Black-and-white always looks modern, whatever that word means.

We believe that black holes collapse to rings hitting very fast.

If you follow through the ring you don't die. The mathematics says you fall straight through, perhaps to another universe.

The earth is rocky and full of roots;

it's clay, and it seems doomed and polluted, but you dig little holes for the ugly shriveled bulbs, throw in a handful of poppy seeds, and cover it all over, and you know you'll never see it again - it's death and clay and shrivel, and your hands are nicked from the rocks, your nails black with soil.

Gravitational waves will bring us exquisitely accurate maps of black holes - maps of their space-time. Those maps will make it crystal clear whether or not what were dealing with are black holes as described by general relativity.

Black hole quote If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewher

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

8

There is no Christian Gospel if history simply unwinds into a meaningless puddle, if the cosmos simply escapes into a cataclysmic black hole, or if the universe finally dies of exhausted energy. Without belief in a biblical eschatology, there is no Christian hope. Without a sense of perfect moral judgment in the end, the human heart is homeless.

I think the end is endless. It's either a big black hole or a big white light or both together. But it's totally meaningless, because even if someone would explain it, I wouldn't understand it.

Do you realize that if you fall into a black hole, you will see the entire future of the Universe unfold in front of you in a matter of moments and you will emerge into another space-time created by the singularity of the black hole you just fell into?

Ostracism means you don't exist at all.

And that's a very difficult situation to live with. As gay people, we had been chasing ostracism by that point for probably 300 years. You just knew that you should have dropped into your black hole.

There are no black holes - in the sense of regimes from which light can't escape to infinity. There are however apparent horizons which persist for a period of time.

When I cannot get that moment of truth where you feel yourself opening up like a flower, I absolutely loathe the bloody camera. I can just feel this black hole eyeing me, sucking me in, and I feel like smashing it to smithereens.

There was one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole.

You know, there's black holes and what - could there be wormholes? Could - might there be a multi-verse? These are all fascinating frontiers. What is the nature of dark matter and dark energy? And what was around before the universe? And do we have access to higher dimensions?

Remember the referendum on the Charlottetown constitutional accord? The more Canada's political and business elites threatened Canadians that the country would disappear into a black hole if the accord weren't passed, the more Canadians opposed it.

I'm a child myself, in the sense that I'm still looking.

Children are fascinated by black holes and ask me questions. I find they soon get the idea if it is explained in nontechnical language.

The larger meaning here is that mainstream journalists simply cannot talk about things that the two parties agree on; this is the black hole of American politics.

Combining quantum entanglement with wormholes yields mind boggling results about black holes. But I don't trust them until we have a theory of everything which can combine quantum effects with general relativity. i.e. we need to have a full blown string theory resolve this sticky question.

I recently heard of someone studying the ellipsis (or three dots) for a PhD.

And, I have to say, I was horrified. The ellipsis is the black hole of the punctuation universe, surely, into which no right-minded person would willingly be sucked, for three years, with no guarantee of a job at the end.

The internet to me is kind of like a black hole, and I never really go on it.

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