A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.— Albert Einstein
Massive Bumper quotations
I like things pretty reduced. I don't understand how people live with so much stuff around them, because you can't focus on it, and after a while it ends up becoming absorbed. It's not as if anything's really being appreciated. To me all that stuff is some desperate message to everyone about who you are, like bumper stickers.
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."
I'm not all that big on rides. I sort of like bumper cars but I don't really go to Disneyland all that much unless if have nieces and nephews or people to take.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.
Cold Case Files and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can’t stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can’t fit on a bumper sticker.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Aging is for people who don't know any better.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
I have a bumper sticker that Bowen created that says Regardless of my kids grades, they have an 'A' in my book'. Without play the child that still lives in all of us will always be incomplete. And not only physically, but creatively, intellectually, and spiritually as well.
You don't put bumper stickers on a Bentley.
A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted Shoplifter." However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading "I'd Rather Be Stealing!.
A bumper of good liquor Will end a contest quicker Than justice, judge or vicar.
Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
I wish I knew how we achieve the goal of world peace.
My bumper sticker reads 'Just Another Version of You.' The sooner we agree that we're just other versions of each other - we human beings - the sooner we will find some sense of world peace.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Smile. it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Life sucks, and then you die.
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Don't take life too seriously.
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
California produces 40% of America's fresh fruits, vegetables and nuts - the kind you eat. We have had a bumper crop of the other variety, too.
A lot of people don't like bumper stickers.
I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
There seems to be no stopping drug frenzy once it takes hold of a nation.
What starts with an innocuous HUGS, NOT DRUGS bumper sticker soon leads to wild talk of shooting dealers and making urine tests a condition for employment -- anywhere.
I implore you, I entreat you and I challenge you to speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks the determination with which you believe it. Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker, it is not enough these days to simply question authority—you've got to speak with it too.