When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
— Bill Watterson
Unbelievable Calvin And Hobbes Friendship quotations
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life.
..procrastinating and rationalizing.
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?
Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
Good friends are hard to come by... I need more money.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN