quote by Henny Youngman

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

— Henny Youngman

Astonishing Drunk Man quotations

Drunk man quote I hope to arrive to my death, late, in love and a little drunk.
I hope to arrive to my death, late, in love and a little drunk.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.

Drunk man quote Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will apprec
Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.


Your pretended fear lest error should step in, is like the man that would keep all the wine out of the country lest men should be drunk. It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy, to deny a man the liberty he hath by nature upon a supposition that he may abuse it.

Drunk man quote Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.
Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

That which the sober man keeps in his breast, the drunken man lets out at the lips. Astute people, when they want to ascertain a man's true character, make him drunk.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when, I've been drinking bourbon whiskey, scotch and gin Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose, Need me a triple shot of that juice Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer One bourbon, one scotch, one beer.

Drunk man quote Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.
Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him.
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Alcohol is perfectly consistent in its effects upon man.

Drunkenness is merely an exaggeration. A foolish man drunk becomes maudlin; a bloody man, vicious; a coarse man, vulgar.


There's only one man really responsible for those events - Yahya Khan.

Both he and his advisers were so drunk with power and corruption they'd even forgotten the honor of the army.

Never trust a man when he's in love, drunk, or running for office.

Drunk man quote The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute. The man who does not ask, is
The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute. The man who does not ask, is a fool for life.

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.

What white man has ever seen me drunk? Who has ever come to me hungry and left me unfed? Who has seen me beat my wives or abuse my children? What law have I broken?

I don't say that the drunk man is the real man, and the sober man merely a shell. But you find out something different about people when they're drunk. Of course, you sometimes find that they're not different at all--that you merely get more of the same, perhaps said rather more loudly and incoherently, but basically the same.

Drunk man quote A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything.
A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything.

There is no place like it, no place with an atom of its glory, pride, and exultancy. It lays its hand upon a man's bowels; he grows drunk with ecstasy; he grows young and full of glory, he feels that he can never die.

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit.

Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

You cannot prevent a man getting drunk if he wishes to do so, but when he becomes a nuisance, then you interfere.

Drunk man quote A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

When irony first makes itself known in a young man's life, it can be like his first experience of getting drunk; he has met with a powerful thing which he does not know how to handle.

The eloquent man is he who is no beautiful speaker, but who is inwardly and desperately drunk with a certain belief.


A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

Drunk man quote No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the g
No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.

The man that gets drunk is little else than a fool, And is in the habit, no doubt, of advocating for Home Rule; But the best Home Rule for him, as far as I can understand, Is the abolition of strong drink from the land.

One of my life goals is to be a best man.

It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

Not every man remembers the name of the cow which supplied him with each drop of milk he has drunk.

Drunk man quote Words of comfort skillfully administered are the oldest therapy known to man.
Words of comfort skillfully administered are the oldest therapy known to man.

The eloquent man is he who is no eloquent speaker, but who is inwardly drunk with a certain belief.


Nobody can write the life of a man but those who have eat and drunk and lived in social intercourse with him.

A drunk man, staggering and mindless, must be led home by his son, so wet is his psyche... Water brings death to the psyche, as earth brings death to water... The psyche lusts to be wet.

Drunk man quote Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.

Of lunacy, Innumerous were the causes;

humbled pride, Ambition disappointed, riches lost, And bodily disease, and sorrow, oft By man inflicted on his brother man; Sorrow, that, made the reason drunk, and yet Left much untasted. So the cup was fill'd.

Come, for my part I will have only those glorious, manly pleasures of being very drunk, and very slovenly.

Drunk man quote The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise man grows it under his
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise man grows it under his feet.

The man who gets drunk in peacetime is a coward.

The man who gets drunk in wartime goes on being a coward.

we might also call vertigo the intoxication of the weak.

aware of his weakness, a man decides to give in rather than stand up to it. he is drunk with weakness, wishes to grow even weaker, wishes to fall down in the middle of the main square in front of everybody, wishes to be down, lower than down.

It is at a fair that man can be drunk forever on liquor, love, or fights;

at a fair that your front pocket can be picked by a trotting horse looking for sugar, and your hind pocket by a thief looking for his fortune.

Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions.

I retired at twenty-nine, bought a life-time pass on American Airlines and my only goal in life was to party like a mad man and get drunk with as many people as possible. And I was happy right there. But when we started the streaming business, I knew it could be something big.

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