139 Ex Girlfriend Quotes To Inspire You

Following is our list of ex girlfriend quotations and slogans full of insightful wisdom and perspective about ex boyfriend.

The Most Famous Ex Girlfriend Quotes (Best in 2024)

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I ask a lot because I'm very curious - especially about ex-girlfriends. I'm pretty good at getting the answers, too. — Brittany Murphy

I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though. — Anthony Jeselnik

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. — Jim Samuels

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers. — Emo Philips

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. — Emo Philips

The worst thing a good girl could do to you is break your heart. — ASAP Rocky

I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart. — Nicholas Sparks

You know that girl that always forgave you? That always loved you? That always took you back? Pretty soon, she’ll give up and find someone better. — Drake

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?" — Jimmy Carr

Short Ex Girlfriend Quotes

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  • When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’. — Drake
  • I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it. — Anthony Jeselnik
  • Being alone is scary, but not as scary as feeling alone in a relationship. — Amelia Earhart
  • I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend. — Demetri Martin
  • And you're wasted with your ladies. Yeah I'm the reason why you always getting faded. — Drake
  • Currently I'm not a crazy ex-girlfriend, but I can't promise I won't be one again. — Miranda Lambert
  • I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding! — Lee Ryan
  • I cried when my ex-girlfriend sent me a text message saying how much she liked my present to her. — Tao Lin
  • All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend. — Ronnie Wood
  • When did the government become our psycho ex-girlfriend — Jay Leno

Old Girlfriend Quotes

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Oh yeah In France a skinny man Died of a big disease with a little name By chance his girlfriend came across a needle And soon she did the same At home there are seventeen-year-old boys And their idea of fun Is being in a gang called The Disciples High on crack, totin' a machine gun. — Prince

Wives, girlfriends, fiancees - clean out your closets. I'm cleaning out my old bell bottoms. We can touch millions. — Deion Sanders

It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends. — Carrot Top

My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long. — Mitch Hedberg

When I'm out with my girlfriends at the bar, and I see some young 18-year old boy, just for fun I say, 'Hi honey. Do you like girls? Do you like girls exclusively? Oh, good.' — Yasmine Bleeth

In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes. — Woody Allen

I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells. — Jim Gaffigan

I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called "They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring." — Steven Wright

Falling in love in high school and falling out of love - it's very digital. I've had breakups where they've called me to tell me we were done, and I've gotten a lot of text messages from an old girlfriend letting me know how she felt about me after we had ended everything. — Khalid

It's like going back to an old girlfriend you're happy you got away from. You wouldn't replace the experience at all. I'm like, "I'm glad I met you. I learned so much from you. I learned how not to be. I learned how to be. But I'll be damned if I have to go through it again." — Omar Rodriguez-Lopez

Ex Boyfriend Quotes

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Boys say they don't mind how you get your hair done. But then they leave you for someone with really great standard girl hair and the next thing you know you're alone with a masculine crop crying into your granola. — Alexa Chung

I am a dreamer but when I wake, you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take — James Blunt

I get some female attention from fans, but mostly it's people asking for advice about a situation with their ex or their boyfriend, so it's not all love letters and fan mail! — Matthew Hussey

But don't ever call her ex-boyfriends by his name. — Christopher Paul Curtis

I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count. — Jasper Fforde

Stones taught me to fly Love taught me to lie And life taught me to die So it's not hard to fall When you float like a cannonball. — Damien Rice

It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care — James Blunt

You never date someone's ex-boyfriend. Period. That's not even the unspoken rule - that's the spoken rule. — Eva Longoria

Sooner or later we'll be looking back on everything and we'll laugh about it like we knew what all was happening — Michael Tolcher

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal. — Charlaine Harris

His Ex Quotes

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Ex girlfriend quote

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. — Shelley Winters

Never does any pride enter the heart of a man ex­cept that his in­tel­li­gence de­creases by the same amount. — Muhammad al-Baqir

I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue all over it. And my father had to be this ex-football star. He didn't know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father's Day, I used to limp for him. — Matthew West

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country. — Helen Rowland

Everyone has a bookplate these days, and the collectors are after it. The fool and his bookplate are soon parted. To distribute one's ex libris is inanely to destroy the only significance it has, that of indicating the past or present ownership of the volume in which it is placed. — Thomas Bailey Aldrich

I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead." His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and some interviews with ex-band members. Like [Keith] Richards's book "Life," it's brutally honest. — Dave Barry

I know one gay ex-Mormon who is a talented, self-destructive alcoholic. Whenever he is drunk and going on a tear, we are back to the Mormon Church and his being thrown out of the Mormon Church and growing up with this sense of being evil. — Andrew Solomon

Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said he wants to be buried next to Hillary. I guess he figures he never slept next to her when they were alive, might as well try it now that they're dead. — Jay Leno

I was the biggest George Harrison fanatic in the world. He was raised Catholic; my parents are both ex-clergy, so I was raised Catholic, and I admired how he used his faith. — John Fugelsang

You will not easily get a man to believe that his carnal love for the woman he has made his wife is as high a love as that he feltfor his mother or sister. — D. H. Lawrence

Ex-wife Quotes

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The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia. — Paul Gascoigne

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life. — Woody Allen

You may have even an ex-wife or an ex-husband, but you can never have ex-children. — George Foreman

It helps to be able to be alone. 'Cuz writing is done alone, unless you collaborate, but I don't do that. Ask my ex-wife. — Dirk Benedict

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure? — Richard Pryor

My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist. — Woody Allen

She (my ex-wife) wanted me to stop being Evel Knievel. I am who I am. I'm not going to change. I'll settle down the day they put me in a six-foot pine box. — Evel Knievel

And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group. — Christopher Titus

Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives. — Jake LaMotta

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife. — Bruce Lansky

Girlfriend Quotes

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Life without you is like a broken pencil, there's no point. — Tyga

My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time. — Anthony Jeselnik

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you ever could just by pressing her follow button. — Harry Styles

My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik

The average person is either a weakling, or just a happy person who wants to get along, or thinks being tough is having big muscles and strutting around town and having a good-looking girlfriend. — Alex Jones

I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic. — Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend. — Anthony Jeselnik

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox. — Anthony Jeselnik

I want to fall in love, I think. I've never. I know. Everyone I know's been in love or in relationships now and... There's only ever been... there's been people telling me they love me, but it freaks me out and I just run, run. I think I'm a bad girlfriend. — Cara Delevingne

I say 'cuz' around Bloods, and I say 'blood' around Crips...I'm twisted. Got Mary, got Lucy, got Molly: that's wifey, girlfriend and mistress. — Ab-Soul

Your Ex Quotes

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Ex girlfriend quote

You can't start the next chapter of your life — Michael McMillian

Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane. But I got a blank space baby, and I'll write your name. — Taylor Swift

First you have nothing, and then, astonishingly, after ripping out your brain and your heart and betraying your friends and ex-lovers and dreaming like a zombie over the page till you can't see or hear or smell or taste, you have something. — T.C. Boyle

I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings toward your ex-wife. Are you two still close?" "Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to Motherfucker." — Elizabeth Gilbert

When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kid's private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. It's not my job. It's my calling. — Quentin Tarantino

I sent my ex-husband a bully card: You held hate in one heart and spoke niceties with the other, you laid warm hands upon me in public and wounded me in private, your noble face hid your filthy ways, and your sorrow was but laughter. — Jenny Jay

It's amazing, the look in your eyes, like you could save me, but you won't even try — Matt Nathanson

The only thing that bothers me is that the girls come up to me and say, "I'm dating your ex-husband." I'm happy that he's dating girls and getting out. — Janet Jackson

It's like I'm married to the silencer, Until I file for divorce and release my ex-calibers. Do art with your arteries, place that for my adversaries, Put your snap back cap back, cap your capillaries. — Pharoahe Monch

Your allegiance is with your spouse; you cannot break that by showing allegiance to your ex-spouse. — Connie Sellecca

Old Boyfriend Quotes

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Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze. — Elinor Glyn

I respect my parents' opinion very much. No matter how old you are, what your parents think is very important. If they like your boyfriend or if they like some work you've done. And if they don't, it's more shattering than anybody else telling you, because they're the most honest. — Olivia Newton-John

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest. — Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. — Erma Bombeck

I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up. — Isla Fisher

Your boyfriend had a dream about potatoes and you're asking me to interpret it? I'm just old. Being old doesn't mean you know more; it means you ate enough fiber. — Jonathan Carroll

My old boyfriend, Warren Beatty, used to say I was a late developer,' she reflects. 'He was right. It took me 50 years to find motherhood and unconditional love.' — Diane Keaton

What's it like going back? Fun and sexy. That's the point. It's - the only reason to go back to an old boyfriend is because you think hmm, maybe. — Stephanie March

When I got old enough to date, I realized that Valentine's Day is just a commercial marketing scam to make men feel bad. So I let my boyfriends off the hook. — Evangeline Lilly

I've got a group who can't play music, one bad comedian plus boyfriend, a nervous breakdown calling himself a magician, two coachloads of 70-year-old religious maniacs looking for a fight and a fancy-dress contest that nobody knew about. — Alan Bleasdale

Ex Wife Quotes

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Our ex-wifes always harbour secrets about us that make them irresistable. Until, of course, we remember who we are and what we did and why we are not married anymore. — Richard Ford

You ask me about my ex-wife? That is not polite. But I will answer. I got another wife now. Much younger, much nicer, much prettier. And so much more intelligent than Benetton.' — Oliviero Toscani

My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez. — James Woods

It's not because I'm bitter or because I don't agree with him politically. I've always been a registered Republican. But it's bad taste to talk about ex-husbands and ex-wives, that's all. Also, I don't know a damn thing about politics. — Jane Wyman

I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman. — Woody Allen

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order. — Sam Kinison

I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world, yet there is this sad, beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you — Kate Hudson

Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones. They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife. — David Letterman

The founder of every ex-gay ministry in America has proved to be an extraordinary failure. The two founders of Exodus International, [the world's largest 'ex-gay' organization], divorced their wives to move in together. — Wayne Besen

I just don't like when there's a rumor that says I'm dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, 'Thank you for the big ups!' — Marilyn Manson

People Writing About Ex Girlfriend

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Name Quotes Likes
Read quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

Anthony Jeselnik

196 4474
Read quotes by Drake

quotes on friendship, success and love

604 10515
Read quotes by Emo Philips

Emo Philips
quotes on life, love

204 3021
Read quotes by Brittany Murphy

Brittany Murphy
quotes on life, education and love

42 226
Read quotes by ASAP Rocky

ASAP Rocky
quotes on life, fashion and rihanna

96 3267
Read quotes by Nicholas Sparks

Nicholas Sparks
quotes on love, marriage and friendship

836 4188

More Ex Girlfriend Quotes

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I did an interview once where I was asked who I found attractive and I went on about cartoons and Nala from 'The Lion King' - and it's a bit weird but various of my ex-girlfriends actually did look like Nala. — Eddie Redmayne

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him. — Emo Philips

Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed. — Unknown Author

I don't think I believe in ghosts, per se. But, my nearest experience was when I went on a weekend away and was in a bar in England, years ago, with an ex-girlfriend. I heard this scratching. I was about to go to bed and I was thinking, 'It's an old ghost.' I could hear this noise, but I couldn't work out where it was coming from. — Theo James

For me, I still have feelings for all of my ex-girlfriends. In different parts of my life, I would miss that person. There's something that drew me to that person, and I shared something with them. — Miles Teller

Actually, when you're doing something you love, even when you're busy and it's hectic you don't feel the need to relax. I never used to take holidays and it would upset ex-wives and girlfriends, but working has me in a better mood than doing nothing. — Al Murray

I left my parents' home when I was 22, I moved to New York with my ex-girlfriend. We did a film together with Raul Julia. — Demian Bichir

I always used to say to my ex-girlfriends that I could never take a good photograph of them, because there was too much of an intimacy between us, but actually the real thing is, if there's a proper intimacy between you... I find it really compelling and exciting - it's quite good foreplay. — Rankin

I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes. — Dana Gould

I'm really only capable to two emotions at this point: lust and hunger. I lost revenge a few years back, and even then, it was reserved only for ex-girlfriends and particular football games that caused me to lose a lot of money. — Jason Mulgrew

I'm not known for having great relationships with ex-girlfriends, but I've been able to continue one with (Gwyneth Paltrow) that's really valuable. — Ben Affleck

Dash is for sure straight!" Boomer announced. "He has a super-pretty ex-girlfriend named Sofia, who I think he still has a thing for, and also, in seventh grade, there was a game of spin the bottle and it was my turn and I spun and it landed at Dash, but he wouldn't let me kiss him. — David Levithan

I think sensitive is the wrong description of me. I'm British, actually, so quite bad at expressing myself in conversation, as any ex-girlfriend will tell you. I'm probably emotionally stunted. — James Blunt

When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't. — Danica Patrick

I've been insane for a long time. An ex-girlfriend of mine once asked, "Is it true that all comedians are depressed?," and I said, "Every one I know is." — Jason Gann

Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT. — Dane Cook

I don't like when performers rag on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in absentia. If they're not there, it just feels rude... I'm never going to say anything personal about myself on stage. That's my new goal. — David Rees

President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation. — David Letterman

An ex-girlfriend once got upset when I told her that music is the most important thing in my life. It's more important than anyone else could ever be. I don't want to be overly dramatic and say it's the only thing that gets me up and keeps me going. But people in your life come and go. As you go through your life, you make friendships, you break friendships, you have relationships. Music is the one thing I've always been able to rely on. — Ben Gibbard

For example, you can go on all the pro-life chat rooms and say you're an outraged right-wing voter and that you know that George Bush drove an ex-girlfriend to an abortion clinic and paid for her to get an abortion.Then you go to an anti-immigration website chat room and ask, "What's all this about George Bush proposing amnesty for illegal aliens?" — Moby

It's fun to branch out a bit. I feel like I've held a lot of tricks up my sleeve for a lot of years, and 'Ex-Girlfriends' is a good way to show another side of me. — Jennifer Carpenter

I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times. — Michel Gondry

It's the Roman numeral for 10. 5/5/89 is my birthday: 5 plus 5 is 10, and this is my tenth year since I got into music. 'X' is the 24th letter in the alphabet, and I will turn 24 when this album comes out. 'X' is also a metaphor, as in 'ex-girlfriend': it implies you're progressing and moving on in life, not holding on to the past and your old ways. — Chris Brown

When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery—much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China. — Aisha Tyler

But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was. — Rachel Vincent

What are you gonna say?" Emma asked. " 'I'm not sure I want you back, but I'm sure I don't want your ex-con ex-girlfriend to have you, either'? Yeah. That'll start this little triangle off on the right foot. — Rachel Vincent

In Conclusion

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