The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia.
— Paul Gascoigne
Sensitive Ex Wife quotations
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU.
Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.
" His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and some interviews with ex-band members. Like [Keith] Richards's book "Life," it's brutally honest.
He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory?
My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.
You will not easily get a man to believe that his carnal love for the woman he has made his wife is as high a love as that he feltfor his mother or sister.
I just don't like when there's a rumor that says I'm dating someone who is below my standards. But when I got divorced, my ex-wife said I was spending all my time with Lindsay Lohan and Angelina Jolie. I was like, 'Thank you for the big ups!'
Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died.
I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?
An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.
The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. Being a Republican, I'm backing Hillary Clinton. Because she could lose. The reason is not that she's a woman. The reason is that she's the particular woman who taught the 4th grade class that every man in America wished he were dead in. Hillary Clinton is Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. Hillary Clinton is "America's ex-wife."
Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates.
It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he's arguing with three people at once, it's his wife, his ex-wife, and his mistress.
I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings toward your ex-wife.
Are you two still close?" "Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to Motherfucker."
She sounds like a screeching ex-wife.
My ex-wife was trying to be nice once, so she took me to a concert in Los Angeles. I went with her to Symphony Hall, and the orchestra was playing. When the show started, the spotlight was sharp on this one man (Andres Segovia) and he had sombrero on and his guitar propped up like this and, oh man ... he was a master ! - I really heard it. That one guitar sounded like a whole orchestra to me.
Apparently, there's something hinky about the new iPhones.
They're not hooked up right. ... There's a problem with the antenna. They don't like to be held - like my ex-wife.
Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses.
Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.
There is no fury like an ex-wife searching for a new lover.
When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kid's private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. It's not my job. It's my calling.
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did.
And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
And me having kids, with my family history? My mom: mentally ill, shot and killed her last husband. My father: six ex-wives, four heart attacks. Both of my parents think alcohol is a food group.
Will Ferrell and I are teaming up again on a film called Daddy's Home.
In the movie I play a Special-Ops soldier who has just discovered that Will Ferrell's character is married to my ex-wife and is my children's stepfather. So, I have to come home and try to win them back and take him out.
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, 'Hey, I messed up.
This had nothing to do with you. I didn't understand what marriage was. I cheated. I was wrong. We couldn't fix it; it got worse. I stepped away because I didn't want it to get any worse. You're the mother of my kids - I don't want to hate you.'
To his ex-wife in court, he said I lost interest in you when the Botox lost its effect and you looked like a plastic doll that escaped from a fire.
You may have even an ex-wife or an ex-husband, but you can never have ex-children.
I want my ex-wife and children to be happy.
I don't care what is written," Meyer Landsman says. "I don't care what supposedly got promised to some sandal-wearing idiot whose claim to fame is that he was ready to cut his own son's throat for the sake of a hare-brained idea. I don't care about red heifers and patriarchs and locusts. A bunch of old bones in the sand. My homeland is in my hat. It's in my ex-wife's tote bag.
She (my ex-wife) wanted me to stop being Evel Knievel. I am who I am. I'm not going to change. I'll settle down the day they put me in a six-foot pine box.
It helps to be able to be alone. 'Cuz writing is done alone, unless you collaborate, but I don't do that. Ask my ex-wife.
I still love my former wife, I won't call her my ex-wife.
I had one of the best days of my life. I spent the afternoon with my two kids and my ex-wife at Serendipity. Then I came to the theater, and you know, I think I did the play the best I've ever done it.
I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world, yet there is this sad, beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you
Besides Bob Satterfield, the only ones who ever hurt me were my ex-wives.
My second ex-wife was really kind of like a ship passing in the night. Only she turned out to be the Exxon Valdez.
My mom [comes] to see my shows because she's so proud, but I'm talking about losing my virginity, my ex-wife and our sexual problems, and she's sitting in the front row smiling. I just go, "Mom, you can't sit in the front row, you can't smile. You have to go way in the back and dress in black. If I see you it's like you're breaking in when I'm having sex with my wife. It's just wrong."
There was a man named Robert Dear who in court said he was a warrior for the babies, whose ex-wife talked about his Christian beliefs motivating his desire to attack and murder three people, including a police officer, in Colorado.That man is a Christian. He`s an avowed Christian. He appears to have acted on those Christian beliefs to undertake that act of violence.
All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend.
I'm on a search for my future ex-wife.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
Our ex-wifes always harbour secrets about us that make them irresistable. Until, of course, we remember who we are and what we did and why we are not married anymore.