quote by George Carlin

Think of a person of average intelligence, and then realise half of the fucking country is more stupid than that idiot.

— George Carlin

Most Powerful Fucking quotations

So you can settle the fuck down. My mother used to say, "Primero comemos, entonces lo demás." That means, "first we eat, then we do everything else."

Fucking quote Stress is caused by giving a fuck.
Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!

Fucking quote Courage is when "Fuck this shit" is bigger than "I have a bad feeling about this
Courage is when "Fuck this shit" is bigger than "I have a bad feeling about this".
32

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

I think people, especially the press, like to pick on children of famous people and I think that's fucking awful. Things get made up. It's so, so sad. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it as a 16-year-old. You're like, Why? What did I do?

I feel like a defective model, like I came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out.

Fucking quote Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all.
Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks us all.

At 18, if someone had said to me, "I think you should go to rehab and get cleaned up," I would have thought, "You're fucking mad."

Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms.

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

Fucking quote Do not fucking quit because hard work and all the shit you go through will pay o
Do not fucking quit because hard work and all the shit you go through will pay off.
23

It's amazing how people can sound like retards when they're talking to their girlfriend, especially if they really love her a lot. Because when you're just fucking someone you make a point of keeping your cool, but when you're really in love - it can sound pretty repulsive.

Fathers. Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will fuck you up, every time.

Everything comes down so pasteurized everything comes down 16 degrees they say your amplifier is too loud turn your amplifier down are we high all alone on our knees memory is just hips that swing like a clock the past projects fantastic scenes tic/toc tic/toc tic/toc fuck the clock!

Fucking quote Nope, i don't really give a fuck
Nope, i don't really give a fuck
12

You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read.

People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank.

You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.

Science is interesting, and if you don't agree you can fuck off.

Note: Dawkins was quoting a former editor of New Scientist Magazine, who is as yet unidentified (possibly Jeremy Webb)

Fucking quote Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all over
Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all over
11

How do people, like, not curse? How is it possible? There are these gaps in speech where you just have to put a fuck. I'll tell you who the most admirable people in the world are: newscasters. If that was me, I'd be like, And the motherfuckers flew the fucking plane right into the Twin Towers. How could you not, if you're a human being? Maybe they're not so admirable. Maybe they're robot zombies.

I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care .

.. but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks ... you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?

In yoga, there's this philosophy, 'svaha.' I call it 'Fuck It, let go.'

Fucking quote You get what you fucking give
You get what you fucking give
4

I was used to sleeping with people because I endlessly found myself in identical situations where it was easier to just fuck them than to say no.

You're fucked. You thought you were going to be someone, but now it's obvious you're nobody. You haven't got as much talent as you thought you had, and there was no Plan B, and you got no skills and no education, and now you're looking at forty or fifty years of nothing. Less than nothing, probably. That's pretty heavy. That's worse than having the brain thing, because what you got now will take a lot longer to kill you. You've got the choice of a slow, painful death, or a quick, merciful one.

After loss of Identity, the most potent modern terror, is loss of sexuality, or, as Descartes didn’t say, I fuck therefore I am.

Fucking quote My mom used to say to me "You can't have fun all the time" and I used to say "Wh
My mom used to say to me "You can't have fun all the time" and I used to say "Why not?" Why the fuck can't I have fun all the time?

They're in love. Fuck the war.

You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny.

In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile - and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely.

You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.

So many of us have our asses watching stupid reality shows, desensitizing our brains. Like, "Wow, isn't that dumb, but I'm so entertained right now! That's the stupidest thing I've seen in my life - give me more of it!" You know what I'm talking about. I turn on the television and I'm like, "This is so bad, but I cannot get my fucking eyes off of it." It's not good.

I stop and think what they call "punk rock" today.

..give me a break! Let me know when they can walk in the vapor trail of Little Richard, which was punk. You've got a gay black guy with a pompadour singing about tutti frutti with your white girl. Fuck you.

The general thrust these days is: Oh, come on, it's all in the past, nobody's interested any more, it didn't work, everyone knows what the Americans are like, but stop being naive, this is the world, there's nothing to be done about it and anyway fuck it, who cares? But let me put it this way-the dead are still looking at us, waiting for us to acknowledge our part in their murder.

But its crazy - like ten percent a year increase of children taking fucking anti-depressants. Pre-schoolers are like, the most prescribed. That makes me so mad!

I Wanna Hold Your Hand.’ First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That’s what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have a feeling that they can’t hide.

Grunge, like Nirvana and all that. Heavy metal, Iron Maiden, Metallica, Guns and Roses, drum and bass. I like to listen to it and try and break down what makes a fan of that music say 'Ah fuck that other music', do you get me? Trying to figure out what makes them tick, I always try and break that down with every piece of music. But the energy in that music, I love it.

What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one.

Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.

If you take someone's thoughts and feelings away bit by bit, consistently then they have nothing left, except some gritty, gnawing, shitty little instinct, down there, somewhere worming round the gut, but so far down, so hidden, its impossible to find. Imagine, if you will, a worldwide conspiracy to deny the colour yellow. And whenever you say yellow, they told you, no, that isn't yellow, what the fuck's yellow? Eventually, whenever you saw yellow, you would say; that isn't yellow, course it isn't blue or green or purple, or... you'd say it, yes it is, its yellow and become increasingly hysterical and then go quite berserk.

Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back.

I mean, the human race, we are a tribe, let's face it, and let's stop all this religious bullshit. I think everybody, or at least a lot of my friends, are just so exhausted with this whole self-importance of religious people. Just drop it. We're all fucking animals, so let's just make some universal tribal beat. We're pagan. Let's just march.