Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?— Harry Caray
Unbelievable Funniest Sports quotations
I don't think there's anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers...I mean Chargers.
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.
I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.
I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia.
Not because I had it, but because I couldn't spell it.
This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.
When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey.
We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us.
I can dribble with my right hand and I can dribble with my left hand. I'm amphibious.
When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you're getting your ass hammered by guys, there's no better feeling than to have that done.
Because there are no fours.
I've never lost a game I just ran out of time.
You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.
Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.
The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
Statistics are like bikinis-they show a lot but not everything.
I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.
But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
The Mets just had their first .500-or-better April since July of 1992.
What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.
Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
You guys line up alphabetically by height.
Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.
The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!
I've never seen anyone go on the DL with pulled fat.
Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.
Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.
The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs.
You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.
I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle.