Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.— Don Shula
Famous Funny American Football quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Football is not a game but a religion, a metaphysical island of fundamental truth in a highly verbalized, disguised society, a throwback of 30,000 generations of anthropological time.
Rapport? You mean like, You'll run as fast as you can, and I'll throw it as far as I can?
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
When it's third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time.
Maybe a good rule in life is never become too important to do your own laundry.
Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of.
For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
If you're mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It's about the same.
I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.
American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental.
Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that.
Trust me, You can dance.
If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health.
I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's.
You guys line up alphabetically by height.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.
Football is easy if you're crazy as hell.
I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.
The people don't take baths and they don't speak English.
No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?
Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away.
I'm not saying he's a cross-dresser, that's just what I heard.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
I have 2 weapons; my arms, my legs and my brain.
Kicking is very important in football.
In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.
Not only does he have the NFC East record for touchdowns, but also the team record.
Football, beer, and above all gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.
I was the originator of smack. Some guys rattle with smack; with other guys it rolls right off their shoulders like nothing.
The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.
I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
We're going to start with the injury report, obviously.
Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett - all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus.
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?
There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution.
For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also there are more injuries at a football game.
Defiance, not obedience, is the American's answer to overbearing authority.
Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.
The Refrigerator" Perry: "I've been big ever since I was little.
Let's face it, you have to have a slightly recessive gene that has a little something to do with the brain to go out on the football field and beat your head against other human beings on a daily basis.
We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.
Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell ‘cat’ if you spotted him the ‘C’ and the ‘A’.