What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.— Harry Caray
Instructive Funny Baseball quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one-third of your games.
No matter how bad you are you're going to win one-third of your games. It's the other third that makes the difference.
I stare out the window and wait for spring.
Ninety feet between home plate and first base may be the closest man has ever come to perfection.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I walk into the clubhouse today and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic.
We have four doctors, three therapists and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and by the 7th inning he'd already drunk it.
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The greatest feeling in the world is to win a major league game.
The second-greatest feeling is to lose a major league game.
Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw.
He always pitches when the other team doesn't score any runs.
I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field).
They had bags over their heads.
Trust me, You can dance.
Baseball is too much of a sport to be called a business, and too much of a business to be called a sport.
The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Well, boys, it's a round ball and a round bat and you got to hit the ball square.
More than any other American sport, baseball creates the magnetic, addictive illusion that it can almost be understood.
Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I'd rather walk with the bases loaded.
People think [baseball players] make $3 million and $4 million a year.
They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
Sweat plus sacrifice equals success.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I think I throw the ball as hard as anyone. The ball just doesn't get there as fast.
I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.
Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.
Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME!
I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
What is the difference between astroturf and grass? I don't know, I never smoked astroturf.
When you say you're a padre, people ask when did you become a parent.
When you say you're a cardinal, they tell you to work hard because the next step is pope. But when you say you're a Dodger, everybody knows you're in the Major Leagues.
The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
NO MAN CAN AVOID BEING BORN AVERAGE, BUT NO MAN HAS TO STAY AVERAGE.
Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.
Baseball fans love numbers. They love to swirl them around their mouths like Bordeaux wine.