Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!— Martin Luther
Unconventional Funny Beer quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!
For a quart of ale is a dish for a king.
Trust me, You can dance.
In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.
There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.
Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam;
I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Money can't buy happiness—but it can buy beer.
I could dance with you until the cows come home.
On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
Beer ... a high and mighty liquor.
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
I don't consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.
When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?
Football, beer, and above all gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Homer no function beer well without.
Beer is a wholesome liquor.....it abounds with nourishment
Beer does not make itself properly by itself.
It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.