Funny Being Single Quotes

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed.

Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them. -Carrie Bradshaw

I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

I don't like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

Even if you can't physically see the result in front of you right now, every single effort you do is changing your body from the inside. Never get discouraged.

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Being single doesn't necessarily mean you're available.

Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" on your heart.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.

He is his own best friend and takes delight in privacy whereas the man of no virtue or ability is his own worst enemy and is afraid of solitude.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I love being single. It's almost like being rich.

But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

A single thread of hope is still a very powerful thing.

You cannot be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt him.

You have your own happiness to think about.

I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder.

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

Be on a rampage of appreciation every single day!

The ideal man is his own best friend and takes delight in privacy.

The Christian church is a society of sinners.

It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.

To love blindly is to love selfishly, because the goal of such love is not the real advantage of the beloved but only the exercise of love in our own souls.

Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I love being single. I can come and go as I please and stay out as late as I want to.

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet.

If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats. That's right, the Pope is coming to America this week and ladies, he's single!

I think just about everyone is doing something that's completely different from what you've seen them do before or a stretch in some way. Like Brandon Routh is so funny, he's awesome. And Chris Evans is hilarious. I mean, he's always funny but just in this character, it's like, I mean I could barely stop laughing on a single take, it was unbelievable. So I think everybody's going to be really, really happy with all the [exes?].

As an actor, you want people to see you as a whole person, not just a single facet of your emotional spectrum. And whether it's the audience or the industry, you end up getting pigeonholed as one thing. So for people to see I can be funny and stay in shape is a bit of a weight off my shoulders.

Trust me, You can dance.

If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.

Upon looking back from the end of the last chapter and surveying the texture of what has been wrote, it is necessary, that upon this page and the five following, a good quantity of heterogeneous matter be inserted, to keep up that just balance betwixt wisdom and folly, without which a book would not hold together a single year.

Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there.

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.