Funny Being Single Quotes

Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed.

Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them. -Carrie Bradshaw

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

I don't like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Being single doesn't necessarily mean you're available.

Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" on your heart.

Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.

"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.

He is his own best friend and takes delight in privacy whereas the man of no virtue or ability is his own worst enemy and is afraid of solitude.

I love being single. It's almost like being rich.

But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

You cannot be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt him.

You have your own happiness to think about.

I'm so single. It's funny. I'm usually a relationship girl. I love being in love and having a partner in crime. But it's good to be your own partner in crime. God, that makes me sound like I have multiple-personality disorder.

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

The ideal man is his own best friend and takes delight in privacy.

The Christian church is a society of sinners.

It is the only society in the world membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.

To love blindly is to love selfishly, because the goal of such love is not the real advantage of the beloved but only the exercise of love in our own souls.

I love being single. I can come and go as I please and stay out as late as I want to.

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet.

If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.

Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds of the law, but he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats. That's right, the Pope is coming to America this week and ladies, he's single!

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

I think just about everyone is doing something that's completely different from what you've seen them do before or a stretch in some way. Like Brandon Routh is so funny, he's awesome. And Chris Evans is hilarious. I mean, he's always funny but just in this character, it's like, I mean I could barely stop laughing on a single take, it was unbelievable. So I think everybody's going to be really, really happy with all the [exes?].

As an actor, you want people to see you as a whole person, not just a single facet of your emotional spectrum. And whether it's the audience or the industry, you end up getting pigeonholed as one thing. So for people to see I can be funny and stay in shape is a bit of a weight off my shoulders.

If Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck.

Upon looking back from the end of the last chapter and surveying the texture of what has been wrote, it is necessary, that upon this page and the five following, a good quantity of heterogeneous matter be inserted, to keep up that just balance betwixt wisdom and folly, without which a book would not hold together a single year.

Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there.

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.