Act your age, not your shoe size.— Prince
Proven Funny Birthday quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you;
after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.
But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Time and tide wait for no man.
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.
I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Your True Nature Is Love. There's Nothing You Can Do About It.
Trust me, You can dance.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
All I want for my birthday is another birthday.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A birthday is just another day where you go to work and people give you love.
Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday.
I tell them, a paternity suit.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.
Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come.
Only a few things are really important.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
You're birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar..... Yung No Mo
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
If you're not getting older, you're dead.
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not;
but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
I have no problems with buying tampons.
I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
At 50, don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Happy 50th birthday.
At fifteen, my mind was bent on learning.
At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was receptive to truth. At seventy, I could follow my heart's desires without sin.
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday.
So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.