Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.— Oscar Wilde
Powerful Funny Cat quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
What greater gift than the love of a cat.
Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself.
A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to.
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.
Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man.
I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?
Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance.
I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food, which they take for granted - but his or her entertainment value.
Trust me, You can dance.
The cat is, above all things, a dramatist.
If the claws didn't retract, cats would be like Velcro
You can be young without money but you can't be old without it.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings.
Time spent with a cat is never wasted.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious.
As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger;
the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets.
My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you.
One cat just leads to another.
Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything.
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.
If you want to write, keep cats.
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
I have lived with several masters - all of them cats.
I'm a cat person. I have two giant cats [Harry and Arturo] that I call the small panthers. They're like 17 pounds each-they're big boys! Every photo on my phone is of them doing something funny.
The cat is domestic only as far as suits its own ends.
A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll on a dead fish.
Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.