Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.— C. S. Lewis
Lavish Funny Clever quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.
Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place.
Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway.
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm.
Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he.
Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
Trust me, You can dance.
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought
I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
I am all in favour of spontaneity, providing it is carefully planned and ruthlessly controlled.
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever." "And he has Brain." "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain." There was a long silence. "I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate.
That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.
"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I'm all alone. There has been no man in my life for several months now and although it would be nice to have a boyfriend, I can't just settle for anybody. The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking.
My fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Yesterday I was clever. So I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise. So I am changing myself.
For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
A stupid man's report of what clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion? I was sober.
Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
May we now all rise and sing the eternal school hymn: "Attack. Attack. Attack Attack Attack!"
Bush is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they are very clever. I can't understand how such clever people came to elect such a stupid president.