It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.— Axl Rose
Unbelievable Funny Divorce quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Travel far enough, you meet yourself.
Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic.
Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.
Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you.
Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.
What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.
I can't take his genius any more.
Trust me, You can dance.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.
Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
Success and failure are both difficult to endure.
Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.
The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.
Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife.
When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I'm a millionaire.
You work three jobs? Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." To a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
In our family we don't divorce our men - we bury them.
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
What happened? Satan was busy?
An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce.
Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over.
I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler.
Its easier to get a divorce than pass the driving test. Now its just a basic form-filling exercise.