I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.— Lewis Grizzard
Impressive Funny Family quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
I have to be seen to be believed.
Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope.
People are generally irrational, unreasonable and selfish. They deserve to be loved, anyway.
If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
If you love something, set it free.
Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style.
Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest.
Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.
The best thing in life are free.
Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
Family is not about blood. It's about who is willing to hold your hand when you need it the most.
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family.
Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Movies these days have made killers into funny people.
What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.
I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest.
I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.
Family is not an important thing. It's everything.
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.
Life is short. Spend it with people who make you laugh and feel loved.
Family is essential because we all yearn to feel like we belong to something greater than ourselves.
My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have.
.. because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable - each segment distinct.
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.
Simply having children does not make mothers.
Maturity isn't a product of growing older. It's a product of growing wiser.
Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.
The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness.
In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.
Love your parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms.
Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.