I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
— Lewis Grizzard
Impressive Funny Family quotations
Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.
I have to be seen to be believed.
A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.
The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope.
People are generally irrational, unreasonable and selfish. They deserve to be loved, anyway.
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world.
Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style.
Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest.
If you love something, set it free.
Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
I guess now that I think back, I used to play priest and be a funny priest.
I don't know, I grew up in such a Catholic family that I kind of liked to test the boundaries a little bit and I think I had fun watching my mom laugh.
I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family.
Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Movies these days have made killers into funny people.
What's that all about? I've got kids and family and friends, and I don't like bad things. I don't think they're funny, and it's irresponsible to make movies that don't show you how that's not good.
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.
Family is essential because we all yearn to feel like we belong to something greater than ourselves.
My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have.
.. because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable - each segment distinct.
Simply having children does not make mothers.
The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness.
Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.
In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.
Friends are "annuals" that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms.
Family is a "perennial" that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There's a place in the garden for both of them.
Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion.
Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion's joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion
Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.