The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
— Edward Abbey
Terrific Funny Fathers Day quotations
When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers.
Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
You can do anything you want to do.
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
Choose a career you love and you will never have to go to work.
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
To her, the name of father was another name for love.
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not.
My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.
When I was a kid, my father told me every day, 'You're the most wonderful boy in the world, and you can do anything you want to.'
What a father says to his children is not heard by the world, but it will be heard by posterity.
"Reverence for parents" stands written among the three laws of most revered righteousness.
I found out that I'm a pretty bad father.
I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.
Scratch any father, you find / Someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, / Believing change is a threat.
Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.
It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.
Father's Day: When you get that lethal combination of alcohol and new power tools.
You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.
Since so many people these days don't seem to start their families until around age forty, I predict there will be less child beating, but more slipped disks from lifting babies out of cribs. Even the father of advanced age who's not inclined to spare the rod is likely to suffer more than his victim: The first punch he throws might well be the last straw for his rotator cuff, reducing his disciplinary options to mere verbal abuse and napping.
On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday.
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.