The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese— Steven Wright
Grateful Funny Food quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Destiny may ride with us today, but there is no reason for it to interfere with lunch.
Instead of past, present and future, I'd prefer chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Show me who your friends are, and I will tell you what you are.
Life is a nacho. It can be yummy-crunchy or squishy-yucky. It just depends on how long it takes for you to start eating it.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Life is a combination of magic and pasta.
A recipe has no soul. You, as the cook, must bring soul to the recipe.
Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Don't look for a partner who is eye candy. Look for a partner who is soul food.
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken
There's nothing better than cake but more cake.
Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.
Trust me, You can dance.
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
I love you like a fat kid love cake.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A party without cake is really just a meeting.
Everybody likes to have a place to think, to meditate, to eat a burrito.
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Desserts are like mistresses. They are bad for you. So if you are having one, you might as well have two.
The most powerful social media... it is not the internet, it is not Facebook - it is food. This connects all human beings.
I take a vitamin every day; it's called a steak.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
One should not attend even the end of the world without a good breakfast.
I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
The people who give you their food give you their heart.
The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for steak to coo.
An apple is an excellent thing -- until you have tried a peach.
Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
Your diet is a bank account, good food choice are good investments.
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food.