When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.— John Glenn
Delighting Funny Hair quotations
When I was a kid I had this funny blonde hair and everyone called me 'Chick' because I looked like Tweety Bird.
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist.
And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
Acting is all about big hair and funny props.
.. All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it.
Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.
Yeah. Some people just don't understand when their facial hair starts to look ridiculous.
They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair.
It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian.
I'd like to wear my old [cinnamon buns] hairstyle again - but with white hair.
I think that would be funny.
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever." "And he has Brain." "Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain." There was a long silence. "I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
What we want most is to be held...and told..that everything (everything is a funny thing, is baby milk and papa's eyes, is roaring logs on a cold morning, is hoot owls and the boy who makes you cry after school, is mama's long hair, is being afraid and twisted faces on the bedroom wall)...is going to be alright.
Hollywood wants to make women so perfect.
Perfect hair. Perfect job. Perfect manners... I know some of the most beautiful women, and they are so weird. That's what makes them funny and captivating.
George Bush says he speaks to god every day, & Christians love him for it.
If George Bush said he spoke to god through his hair dryer, they would think he was mad. I fail to see how the addition of a hair dryer makes it any more absurd.
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well.
Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.
I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.
I have an oscillating fan at my house.
It goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "no." So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say "no" to! Do you keep my hair in place? Do you keep my documents in order? Do you have 3 settings? LIAR! My fan lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you're not saying ANYTHING!
I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured.
I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts.
The hair of his face, on the contrary, carroty and flaming, resembled a growth of copper wire clipped short to the line of the lip; while, no matter how close he shaved, fiery metallic gleams passed, when he moved his head, over the surface of his cheeks.
Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.
A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.
I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.
I had heard before that there were rumors I was gay.
It's funny. My cousin gets his hair cut at this place, and one of the guys there told him that Scott Wolf was gay. He didn't realize that he was my cousin.
For me, a male image that I'm really moved by is somewhere between of Oscar Wilde type of a male: the fop, the long hair, the suits, too witty for his own good, incredibly smart, scathingly funny - all that. But then my other ideal is more like the Buddhist monk - the shaved head, actually someone who sublimates their sexuality.
What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
It's funny to see my friends going through that middle-age thing about losing their hair. I went through it in college. They all say, "Oh my God, I'm getting old. I'm never getting laid again." Shut up. Yes, you are.
I realised that if you get yourself labeled as the funny one, people don't look any further. I've used that as I've got older. It's controlling: I decide what part of my personality you're seeing. I don't want you to look at me, I really don't. I don't want you to comment on my clothes, my hair or the way I look.
Can you be a girl for a few seconds?" "I'm always a girl" I frown.
"You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl" I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay.
Note to self: When noticing flyaway hairs, do not use lip gloss as an 'on-the-go' hair gel.
Your hair looks funny," Lief said, as soon as the Ugloids left.
"It stands straight up!" No," said Nick, intensely irritated, "It's hanging straight down." Lief just gave him an upside-down shrug. "Up is down in China and you're part-Chinese.
It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair.
I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes.
I look out at the stadiums full of people and see them all knowing the words to songs I wrote. And curling their hair! I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. And wonderful.