I play a position where you make mistakes. The only people that don't make them at a hockey game are the people watching.— Patrick Roy
Blissful Funny Hockey quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing......everything else is just figure skating.
I tried to talk my daughter out of going with a hockey player but, he's a good kid. He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her. I said: You want to what? I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Half the game is mental, the other half is being mental.
I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Hockey s a funny game. You have to prove yourself every shift, every game. It's not up to anybody else. You have to take pride in yourself.
The only job worse is a javelin catcher at a track - and - field meet.
Hockey is a fast, body-contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.
Trust me, You can dance.
On his attempt at the Edmonton Oilers empty net: I guess they respect my shot because they were all ready at the blue line.
Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.
It's not who wins the fight that's important, it's being willing to fight.
If you get challenged and renege, everyone wants to take a shot at you.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I'm a millionaire.
The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was that Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterward.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey;
that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!
When we've got the puck, they can't score.
Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my (expletive) clothes.
Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all, it keeps them off the street.
By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of an NHL playoff series.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
At the end of each year I make a list of my mistakes and it's pretty friggin long.
People didn't know the difference between a blue line and a clothes line.
This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
The only difference between the Coyotes and 'Days of Our Lives' is that nobody has been shot on our team yet.
One road trip we were stuck on the runway for seven hours.
The plane kept driving and driving until we arrived at the rink and I realized we were on a bus.
Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
When I'm not acting, I try to be normal, play golf, play hockey.
It's funny because you're in this little bubble when you're working - you don't read books, you don't really keep up with the news, you're just living that life.
We can't play stupid hockey, dumb hockey, greedy hockey, selfish hockey.
We have to put the team ahead of our personal feelings.
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."
I've got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I'm the only person who ever tried that.
Women can do anything men can do. Except math, chess, running, jumping, lifting stuff, fixing things, making money, hockey, surfing, driving, making decisions, being tall, taking out the garbage, tipping, fishing, being funny (on purpose), reading a map, listening to good bands, writing, running the country, inventing anything important, or being fun to hang out with.