Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.— Johnny Carson
Passioned Funny Holiday quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.
It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.
Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.
Everybody does that now. We all take pics... you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on it, even though you’re not really there when you’re taking the picture 'cause you’re too busy recording it; so you retrospectively go to look back on where you weren’t and tell yourself you had a good time.
Trust me, You can dance.
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Not a creature was stirring, not even an elf.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Great little One! whose all-embracing birth Lifts Earth to Heaven, stoops Heaven to Earth.
My New Year's resolution was to stop saying 'You go, girl' to myself.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving.
Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.
Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.
Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.
Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas.
Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
I made no resolutions for the New Year.
The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.