Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
— Mark Twain
Thrilling Funny Inspirational Life quotations
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.
And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
love the life you live. live the life you love.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z.
Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work.
Or waffles, friends, work, it doesn't matter. But work is third.
If life gives you lemons, make apple juice and make people wonder how the hell you did it.
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop
For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words.
The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
Traveling is like flirting with life.
It's like saying, 'I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station.
Free your mind and your ass will follow
One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage.
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.
My idea is that there is music in the air, music all around us;
the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require.
I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.
If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.
Good things come to those who wait.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.
But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Dance for yourself. If someone understands, good. If not, no matter.
It isn't that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.