quote by Lewis Grizzard

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

— Lewis Grizzard

Surprising Funny Marriage quotations

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.


Funny marriage quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change.

Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

Funny marriage quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
Meaningful Funny marriage quotes
Visualise all those meaningful funny marriage quotes

A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

God created sex. Priests created marriage.


Funny marriage quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
45

Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.

The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn't say.

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Funny marriage quote Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or friendship, is
Ultimately, the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or friendship, is conversation.

Don't marry the person you think you can live with;

marry only the individual you think you can't live without.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you;

after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.


The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.

Funny marriage quote Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

When people tell me they've learned from experience, I tell them the trick is to learn from other people's experience.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

Funny marriage quote Trust me, You can dance.
Trust me, You can dance.
25

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.


Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

It is best for ordinary men to have only one wife !

Funny marriage quote I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.


Funny marriage quote From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Funny marriage quote Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.

Love conquers all things.


All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.

Funny marriage quote We simply can't abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Re
We simply can't abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of life together.
19

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.

God speaks with authority on every subject including marriage and His advice trumps Oprah's every time.

I was married once--in San Francisco.

I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.

Funny marriage quote Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.


Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.

Marriage is like a hot bath; once you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.