The man ignorant of mathematics will be increasingly limited in his grasp of the main forces of civilization.

— John G. Kemeny

## Eye-opening Funny Mathematics quotations

### Obvious is the most dangerous word in mathematics.

Mathematics is the supreme judge; from its decisions there is no appeal.

If equations are trains threading the landscape of numbers, then no train stops at pi.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

### Know what you're talking about.

### Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity I do not understand it myself any more.

### Two wrongs don't make a right.

Mathematics consists in proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way.

No human investigation can be called real science if it cannot be demonstrated mathematically.

Arithmetic is where numbers fly like pigeons in and out of your head.

### Mathematics is not a deductive science - that's a cliché.

.. What you do is trial and error, experimentation, guesswork.

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.

The pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit.

### Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.

At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

### We never know what we are talking about.

It is not the job of mathematicians... to do correct arithmetical operations. It is the job of bank accountants.

Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.

Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!

### There are two ways to do great mathematics.

The first is to be smarter than everybody else. The second way is to be stupider than everybody else - but persistent.

Mathematics are well and good but Nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

Mathematics - the unshaken Foundation of Sciences, and the plentiful Fountain of Advantage to human affairs.

### Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

But in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.

Even stranger things have happened; and perhaps the strangest of all is the marvel that mathematics should be possible to a race akin to the apes.

The mathematics are distinguished by a particular privilege, that is, in the course of ages, they may always advance and can never recede.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

I was brought up on rock-'n'-roll. It was sort of funny because I couldn't get interested in anything else - I tried and tried but I couldn't get into science...or mathematics, I just cut myself off from anything else there was to get interested in.

### Women have a passion for mathematics.

They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot successfully be put into equations, because it is nonsense.