Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.— Albert Einstein
Bashful Funny Men quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes.
After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!
Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
This was said by gene wilder ... what does it mean ?
I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either.
There was a knock on our dressing-room door.
Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend.
Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.
The best accessory for a woman - handsome man!
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Reefer makes darkies think they're as good as white men.
There is no such thing as bad whiskey.
Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The men liked to put me down as the best woman painter. I think I'm one of the best painters.
The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.
Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others rob you with a fountain pen.
When others kid me about being bald, I simply tell them that the way I figure it, the good Lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs on growing hair, that's up to them.
I'd rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort.
Trust me, You can dance.
Men Wanted for Dangerous Expedition: Low Wages for Long Hours of Arduous Labour under Brutal Conditions; Months of Continual Darkness and Extreme Cold; Great Risk to Life and Limb from Disease, Accidents and Other Hazards; Small Chance of Fame in Case of Success.
If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death.
While it's okay to believe in a man who turned water into wine, and walked on water
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The world is new to us every morning - and every man should believe he is reborn each day
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
I'm usually good about my temper, but all these men trying to control women's bodies are really beginning to piss me off.
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you;
after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men's advances as long as they are in cash
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!' 'However,' replied the universe.
'The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
It may sound funny, but I love the South.
I don't choose to live anywhere else. There's land here, where a man can raise cattle, and I'm going to do it some day. There are lakes where a man can sink a hook and fight the bass. There is room here for my children to play and grow, and become good citizens-if the white man will let them.