Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.— Albert Einstein
Stunning Funny Men And Women quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The men liked to put me down as the best woman painter. I think I'm one of the best painters.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
A man told me that for a woman, I was very opinionated. I said, 'for a man you're kind of ignorant'.
I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine.
I'd much rather be a woman than a man.
Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
There aren't any hard women, only soft men.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of.
For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It's our Alamo.
Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman
Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said;
after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.
It's funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy.
There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'.
When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.
Trust me, You can dance.
The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne
Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men.
It's possible that both are right.
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.
Girls compete with each other. Women empower one another.
Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both."-
It’s crazy. Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women... f**king idiot-ass men keep saying that women aren't funny. It makes me crazy. I find it disgusting and offensive every time.
All pretty girls are a trap, a pretty trap, and men expect them to be.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
I'm usually good about my temper, but all these men trying to control women's bodies are really beginning to piss me off.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo;
hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another.
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Women take clothing much more seriously than men.
I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays-fear.
The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.
Everyone knows that a man can marry even if he reaches the age of 102, is penniless, and has all his facilities gone. There is always some woman willing to take a chance on him.
I lisp. My eyes disappear when I smile. My voice is funny. I don't sing like Judy Garland. I don't dance like Cyd Charisse. But women identify with me. And while men desire Cyd Charisse, they'd take me home to meet Mom.