Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.— Peg Bracken
Genuine Funny Merry Christmas quotations
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
Christmas is the day that holds all time together.
Don't let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.
Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.
Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.
Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.
I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.
One can never have enough socks
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Heap on more wood! - the wind is chill;
But let it whistle as it will, We'll keep our Christmas merry still.
Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.
Trust me, You can dance.
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.
Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas.
Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world!
Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing.
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
The earth has grown old with its burden of care, But at Christmas it always is young.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I do like Christmas on the whole.... In its clumsy way, it does approach Peace and Goodwill. But it is clumsier every year.
One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore.
"Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.
Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?
Let's be pretty kind. Pretty funny. Pretty smart. Pretty strong
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something that you don't mind so much not having at other times.
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays, so there is a plural, which in the English language necessitates the use of the letter "S." Now, I suppose you could say "Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" but you probably have sh*t to do.
Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for awhile.
Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!