Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money...— Fabolous
Impressive Funny Money quotations
Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."
The solution to any problem -work, love, money, whatever -is to go fishing, and the worse the problem, the longer the trip should be.
Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.
Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop
Life is a gamble, we scramble for money, I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny.
There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men's advances as long as they are in cash
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.
The thief spends less than my wife did
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it.
Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.
Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
The goal is to win. It's not about making money. I have many much less risky ways of making money than this (buying Chelsea football club). I don't want to throw my money away, but it's really about having fun and that means success and trophies.
You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.
Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
A race track is a place where windows clean people.
No matter how hard you hug your money, it never hugs back.
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag.
That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
& I'm all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled
If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one